'Allo 'Allo!

In France during World War II, RenÃ© Artois runs a small cafÃ© where Resistance fighters, Gestapo men, German Army officers and escaped Allied POWs interact daily, ignorant of one another's true identity or presence, exasperating RenÃ©.

Genre: Comedy, History, War

Cast:Gorden Kaye , Carmen Silvera , Vicki Michelle , Richard Marner , Kim Hartman , Guy Siner , Kirsten Cooke , Richard Gibson , Rose Hill , Arthur Bostrom , John D. Collins , Nicholas Frankau , John Louis Mansi , Sue Hodge , Kenneth Connor , Hilary Minster , Jack Haig , Gavin Richards

0Season 1

S1.E0 ∙ The British Are Coming

Thu, Dec 30, 1982

World War II is raging, but in the French village of Nouvion, café owner René Artois wants only a quiet life, plus some slap and tickle with his waitress Yvette behind his sour wife Edith's back. To this end, he keeps in with two German officers who are regular café patrons, Kurt von Strohm and Hans Geering. He is therefore alarmed when Michelle of the Resistance declares his house a safe house for two British airmen who have been shot down and who don't speak a word of French. He is also to host Roger Leclerc, a forger and old flame of his mother-in-law Fanny, who was sprung from jail by the Resistance but, due to a misunderstanding, mistakes Hubert Gruber, a German officer who turns out to be gay and fancies René, for the forger. Geering and von Strohm discover the hidden British airmen, but when Herr Otto Flick of the Gestapo arrives, they agree to help. This is because Flick is after a favourite painting of Hitler's, "The Fallen Madonna with the Big Boobies," which they wish to keep for themselves. To this end, they give their uniforms to the escaping airmen.

1Season 1

S1.E1 ∙ The British 'ave Come

Fri, Sep 14, 1984

Colonel von Strohm wants to hand René over to the Gestapo along with the painting of the fallen Madonna with the big boobies by van Klomp to get rid of Herr Flick, but René convinces them that it would be a better idea to try to forge the painting, give that to the Gestapo and split the money from the painting after the war. Captain Hans finds out that putting cheese in one's ears improves the sound of madame Edith's singing.

2Season 1

S1.E2 ∙ Pigeon Post

Fri, Sep 21, 1984

The airmen, wearing German uniforms, are captured by the Maquis but escape and burn the uniforms, taking clothes off scarecrows instead before disguising themselves as onion sellers. Von Strohm and Geering, now without uniforms, are angry with René and he is given two carrier pigeons to send to London for replacement uniforms. He uses the radio transmitter hidden under Madame Fanny's bed instead when Edith kills and cooks the pigeons.

3Season 1

S1.E3 ∙ Savile Row to the Rescue

Fri, Sep 28, 1984

Michelle brings a bottle of nitroglycerin to the café for safe keeping until it is time for her to use it to blow up a German train. However, as it is in a gin bottle, Edith thinks it really is gin and gives some to Madame Fanny. René and the two German officers meet the plane bringing their uniforms but on board there is only a Jewish tailor who takes their measurements. He does, however, take the painting of "The Fallen Madonna with the Big Boobies" back to London to be copied.

4Season 1

S1.E4 ∙ The Execution

Fri, Oct 5, 1984

General von Klinkerhoffen of the German High Command is to arrive in Nouvion by train. Von Strohm and Geering are not keen to see him as he will find out about their incompetence and allow themselves to assist the Resistance in blowing up his train. The General survives and various suspects are arrested but ultimately only René is identified as a saboteur and is sentenced to be shot. Various people try to help him escape from prison but in vain. However, as Gruber prepares to supervise the execution von Strohm substitutes harmless wooden bullets for the lethal real ones.

5Season 1

S1.E5 ∙ The Funeral

Fri, Oct 5, 1984

René's funeral is to be arranged by the village undertaker Monsieur Alfonse. Herr Flick, along with his girlfriend, Private Helga, will be watching on the off-chance that the mourners will include other Resistance members who can then be arrested, but the plan is leaked so that Monsieur LeClerc will pose as the priest and no Resistance members will attend. René himself is passed off as his twin brother, also called René, come to pay his respects. In the absence of a body, Michelle hides some anti-tank mines that she has been given in the coffin but of course it falls off the hearse, causing an explosion.

6Season 1

S1.E6 ∙ Reds Nick Colonel

Fri, Oct 19, 1984

The Resistance capture von Strohm and Geering, whom they intend to shoot in return for the death of the late café owner. The task of shooting them is to be given to René in revenge for his brother's slaying. Fortunately he is able to enable all three of them to escape in time to meet the plane bringing the forged painting back from England, which they intend to return to Flick. Unfortunately, it is only after the hand-over has been accomplished that they discover that they gave him the genuine original and they have the copy.

7Season 1

S1.E7 ∙ The Dance of Hitler Youth

Fri, Oct 26, 1984

Hearing that Flick intends to send the painting back to Berlin the next day, von Strohm directs René to make the switch that night. A diversion is arranged in the form of a Hitler Youth Dance, in which local girls dressed in Bavarian costumes will perform for the Gestapo officer's delight. Meanwhile, René and Edith, wearing the German uniforms that arrived on the plane, will take the forgery back to Flick's office. Unfortunately the guard takes the painting from them and sends them away. Now Flick has the original, the London forgery and one he made himself to work a fiddle that would get him money to marry Helga after the war. Meanwhile, the airmen are smuggled to the coast but, on hearing that there is no submarine for them and they must row home, return to the village.

1Season 2

S2.E1 ∙ Six Big Boobies

Mon, Oct 21, 1985

René is annoyed when the airmen return and sends them away dressed as nuns with instructions to hide in the local convent. Edith, officially a widow, finds René's will, naming her as sole beneficiary, and sets out to spend his money on a new hat to attract other suitors. Flick gets Gruber, who once worked in an art gallery, to identify the original painting whilst the 'nuns' return and end up hiding in the piano.

2Season 2

S2.E2 ∙ The Wooing of Widow Artois

Mon, Oct 28, 1985

Because Hitler wants the painting, Herr Flick orders René to hide the painting, that's concealed in a sausage, in his kitchen.

3Season 2

S2.E3 ∙ The Policeman Cometh

Mon, Nov 4, 1985

Dressed as a pantomime cow the two airmen narrowly avoid being milked before going to a landing field to pick up their plane home. Unfortunately all the plane does is drop by parachute an intelligence officer called Crabtree,who poses as a gendarme and mangles every attempt at the language. Captain Geering and René meanwhile have to stop the train from reaching Berlin as it is carrying the sausage which does not contain the painting. They plan to blow it up and blame the Resistance but fail to do so and the train passes them by.

4Season 2

S2.E4 ∙ Swiftly and with Style

Mon, Nov 11, 1985

Flick comes across Michelle by the roadside, lying in wait for an ammunition lorry which she plans to blow up with a detonator disguised as a bicycle pump - however Flick mistakes it for a genuine cycle pump and blows his car up. Another escape attempt is to be made for the airmen, this time in a balloon and silk knickers are vanishing from the village washing lines to provide the material. René explains that the knickers are actually providing the material for Edith's wedding dress, as she has agreed to re-marry him. Monsieur Alfonse, who is already wooing Edith, is enraged at being spurned and challenges René to a duel.

5Season 2

S2.E5 ∙ The Duel

Mon, Nov 18, 1985

Whilst the balloon is ready for the take off the cowardly René tries to duck out of the duel. Gruber, who is in love with him, offers to be his second, whilst von Strohm and Geering plan to kill Alfonse before the duel can take place. However the plan is thwarted when Hitler, having discovered that there was no painting on the train, orders Flick to arrest the culprits, whom Flick knows to be the German officers. René therefore is forced to take part in the duel.

6Season 2

S2.E6 ∙ Herr Flick's Revenge

Mon, Nov 25, 1985

Michelle saves René's skin and his reputation by telling Alfonse that he is a heroic member of the Resistance. Alfonse thus has too much respect for him to kill him. However René is in drag, which gets him more attention from Gruber. Flick has imprisoned von Strohm and Geering and also captures René, planning to torture them to reveal what happened to the painting. Fortunately von Klinkerhoffen stops him as he has more influential connections than Flick in the German high command. The airmen are taken to the balloon dressed as mourners in a fake funeral for Madame Fanny who has allegedly died of the plague.

7Season 2

S2.E7 ∙ The Gateau from the Chateau

Thu, Dec 26, 1985

The balloon crashes and the airmen end up back at the café, disguised by moose heads. General von Klinkerhoffen assumes control of the whole area, thereby making many enemies. The Resistance hate him for obvious reasons but Colonel von Strohm, Captain Geering and Herr Otto Flick of the Gestapo also feel undermined by his presence. Therefore, at a party he is organizing to mark the Kaiser's birthday, plans are made to kill him, involving poison - in the pill by the till in the jug with the drug - and dynamite hidden in a birthday cake - the candle with the handle in the gateau from the chateau. The poison actually turns out to be aspirin and the candle seems likely to explode and kill everybody so René tips a bucket of sand over it, explaining to von Klinkerhoffen that it was done as a respectful gesture to mark the Kaiser's burial.

1Season 3

S3.E1 ∙ The Nicked Knockwurst

Fri, Dec 5, 1986

Herr Otto Flick's sausage, containing the forged painting The Fallen Madonna with the Big Boobies by Van Klomp, is kidnapped by the communist Resistance who demand a ransom for its return. Colonel von Strohm and Captain Geering, anxious that Herr Flick does not discover their part in the deception, get René to pay the ransom which he does with money Edith obtains from Monsieur Alfonse. Dressed as a German soldier René drops off the money, observed by both German and French parties also in disguise. However Lieutenant Gruber turns up with his dog who runs off with the sausage.

2Season 3

S3.E2 ∙ Gruber Does Some Mincing

Fri, Dec 12, 1986

Lieutenant Gruber is about to mince the sausage his dog brought in when he discovers the painting The Fallen Madonna with the Big Boobies by Van Klomp. The Resistance pay off Monsieur Alfonse, who provided the ransom money, with notes forged by LeClerc whilst Gruber is ordered to fake another copy of the picture. Michelle intends to get the airman out using an old aeroplane in the museum. It will be powered by the motor from General von Klinkerhoffen's lawn mower, which she has smuggled out in Madame Fanny's wheelchair.

3Season 3

S3.E3 ∙ The Sausage in the Wardrobe

Fri, Dec 19, 1986

Waitress Maria is sent to Gruber with the genuine painting in order for him to copy it. However, she is intercepted by von Klinkerhoffen who puts the painting, inside the sausage, in his wardrobe and refuses to release Maria until he gets his lawn mower motor back. René, von Strohm, Geering and Flick, using the secret passages, break into the chateau to steal back the painting.

4Season 3

S3.E4 ∙ Flight of Fancy

Fri, Dec 26, 1986

René has successfully got the painting back so Michelle concentrates on her plan to get the airmen away in the ancient aeroplane. It is to be drawn by a car and catapulted into the air, requiring René to collect 800 metres of men's braces, which he does under the guise of his Grand Order of the Night Owls. Herr Flick and Helga, aware that something may be afoot, turn up in Flick's staff car but it is flattened by a runaway steam-roller so they miss seeing the failed escape when the plane fails to take off and René is flung through the air.

5Season 3

S3.E5 ∙ Pretty Maids All in a Row

Fri, Jan 2, 1987

The airmen are disguised as waitresses at the café. However, von Klinkerhoffen recognizes a Van Gogh, behind which René has hidden The Fallen Madonna, and he requisitions it to be taken to the chateau, along with the two 'waitresses'. To thwart this an elaborate pantomime is staged, whereby the two men dress as tarts out to seduce René. A supposedly enraged Edith then 'shoots' them with a gun loaded with blanks. The 'corpses' are taken to Alfonse's funeral parlour under which a tunnel has been dug, connecting to the prisoner-of-war camp across the road, in which it is planned to hide the two fugitives.

6Season 3

S3.E6 ∙ The Great Un-Escape

Fri, Jan 9, 1987

As René communicates with London on the radio hidden under Madame Fanny's bed Herr Flick listens in and learns of the plan to dig the tunnel into the prison camp. The airmen and Monsieur Alfonse need help in digging so René and his staff join in. Colonel von Strohm and Captain Geering follow René and go through the tunnel, which collapses behind them, trapping them and René in the camp with the airmen and the café staff. General von Klinkerhoffen is about to make his inspection of the prisoners but the Germans and the girls are disguised as British servicemen and fool him.

1Season 4

S4.E1 ∙ Prisoners of War

Sat, Nov 7, 1987

Whilst the suspicious Herr Flick and his henchman von Smallhausen dig their own tunnel into the camp, the prisoners are planning a mass escape. Colonel von Strohm volunteers Captain Geering as the first to go and he is catapulted over the wire and spirited away into the woods by the Resistance. Lieutenant Gruber dresses as a nun in order to get into the camp to free the others but they take advantage of an entertainment about to be staged and dress up as dancing girls.

2Season 4

S4.E2 ∙ Camp Dance

Sat, Nov 14, 1987

Herr Flick and von Smallhausen tunnel their way into the camp, only to find that, along with Lieutenant Gruber, everybody has escaped disguised as dancing girls. Flick intercepts René's call to London but René, realizing this, destroys his radio. The Resistance now have no radio. Nor do they have Maria, who disguised herself as a Red Cross parcel, but, due to insufficient stamps, was sent back to Switzerland. Captain Geering has also gone, since the Resistance assumed he was an escaping British officer and took him to London, where he now has an office in Piccadilly Circus.

3Season 4

S4.E3 ∙ Good Staff Are Hard to Find

Sat, Nov 21, 1987

To replace Maria, Michelle brings in Mimi Labonq, who is very tiny but very tenacious and vows to be René's bodyguard. She is also very fanatical and René has to stop her from poisoning Flick. A new radio is also brought to the cafe by Roger LeClerc but this coincides with the arrival of Geering's replacement, the Italian Captain Bertorelli. He too almost falls victim to Mimi when he misunderstands her invitation to go upstairs and look at some paintings.

4Season 4

S4.E4 ∙ The Flying Nun

Sat, Nov 28, 1987

Herr Flick suspects Colonel von Strohm and General von Klinkerhoffen of being part of a plot to kill Hitler and plants a microphone, disguised as a daffodil, in the general's office but the only conversation is the Germans trying to get rid of Captain Bertorelli. The Resistance need an aerial to be placed above Flick's jamming signal to block it out so Mimi, dressed as a nun, is sent up in the air attached to a box kite. She asks London to send explosives. Monsieur Alfonse catches René and Yvette at it and regards Edith as back on the market.

5Season 4

S4.E5 ∙ The Sausage in the Trousers

Sat, Dec 5, 1987

The Resistance are awaiting batteries, stolen from the Germans, to operate the wireless under the bed and, in the meantime, Michelle has René and Yvette pedalling a bicycle attached to a generator to power it. Helga exposes Herr Flick's efforts to bug the general's office and General von Klinkerhoffen has him arrested. Lieutenant Gruber completes his forgeries of the paintings and delivers them wrapped up in sausages. However they get mixed up with real sausages and ones containing batteries and explosives.

6Season 4

S4.E6 ∙ The Jet-Propelled Mother-In-Law

Sat, Dec 12, 1987

The British air force drops a spy camera with which the Resistance are to photograph the plans for the German invasion of England. However the camera lands in Alphonse's vineyard, which General von Klinkerhoffen has commandeered. When he orders the locals to harvest the grapes the camera is rescued and two attempts made to kill the general. One involves poisoned wine but Alphonse ends up with the glass and spits out the wine. The reserve plan has explosives hidden in Madame Fanny's wheelchair but this too goes wrong and the wheelchair goes whizzing across the countryside.

1Season 5

S5.E1 ∙ Desperate Doings in the Dungeon

Sat, Sep 3, 1988

Herr Flick, dragged up as Irma von Kinkenrotten - the disguise he used to plant the bug - is still in the dungeon. Colonel von Strohm and General von Klinkerhoffen, aware that he knows of the forgeries, feel he should be silenced and hatch a plan. The Resistance, led by René dressed as Heinrich Himmler, will spring him. The German officers, dressed as Gestapo, whom they will blame if anything goes wrong, are to thwart the escape and put paid to Flick. However, the Resistance have effected the escape before the Germans arrive and they find only René, who has swapped places with Flick as the prisoner.

2Season 5

S5.E2 ∙ The Camera in the Potato

Sat, Sep 10, 1988

René is finally rescued by Lieutenant Gruber and returns to the café, where Michelle tells him that he must take the camera, hidden in a potato, into the chateau and photograph the invasion plans in the safe. General von Klinkerhoffen is lured away to the café, where, surviving a seduction attempt by Edith, he finds Colonel von Strohm in bed with Yvette. René is about to enter the chateau when there is an air raid.

3Season 5

S5.E3 ∙ Dinner with the General

Sat, Sep 17, 1988

Rene manages to photograph the safe,which is in Gruber's room and which LeClerc believes he can blow open. Alphonse tells Edith of Rene's affair with Yvette but she believes his denial. Von Klinkerhoffen takes a fancy to Helga and they have a private dinner in his room. Flick and Von Smallhausen,posing as gypsy violinists,serenade them in order to learn whether the general intends to kill Hitler. Smoke bombs are to be dropped down Gruber's chimney,causing a diversion which will allow Rene and LeClerc to come in and open the safe. By mistake the smoke bombs are thrown down the general's chimney instead and he calls the fire brigade.

4Season 5

S5.E4 ∙ The Dreaded Circular Saw

Sat, Sep 24, 1988

Von Klinkerhoffen assumes that the 'gypsies' caused the smoke bomb incident and orders their arrest,so they hide in the wardrobe. This gets blown to bits when LeClerc blows the safe up,but its contents are not the invasion plans but the original Fallen Madonna painting and the Van Gogh the general stole from Rene.The Gestapo officers, Rene and LeClerc all escape but the last two are disguised as Germans and are captured by the Communist Resistance and held prisoner in an old saw-mill. Flick believes the safe blew up because Gruber was hiding explosives with which to kill Hitler and orders Helga to chat him up to find out more. Whilst she is doing so Crabtree and the resistance steal Gruber's tank in order to rescue Rene and LeClerc but Edith crashes it into the village's public convenience.

5Season 5

S5.E5 ∙ Otherwise Engaged

Sat, Oct 1, 1988

While René is told he'll marry Denise Laroque, the British airmen try to surrender to the Germans.

6Season 5

S5.E6 ∙ A Marriage of Inconvenience

Sat, Oct 8, 1988

Rene is not looking forward to marrying Denise and agrees to a romantic dinner with Edith. Michelle has abducted Denise and hidden her in an old mine shaft, the plan being that Edith will take her place at the altar next day. Gruber, not happy at seeing the man he loves get married, is charged by the general to ask Rene where the paintings are and is assured that they are safe. The wedding goes ahead and Rene is surprised to see, when she lifts her veil, that his bride is Edith, not Denise. However the marriage is not legal because, in a counter-plan to prevent the union, the vicar has been replaced by Crabtree.

7Season 5

S5.E7 ∙ No Hiding Place

Sat, Oct 15, 1988

René hasn't married Denise and now tries to find a place to hide because he fears Denise wants to kill him.

8Season 5

S5.E8 ∙ The Arrival of the Homing Duck

Sat, Oct 22, 1988

Rene is thrown out of their truck by the Communists and reports that the paintings are with the Communists at their head-quarters. The general plans an attack to recover them,using Bertorelli's Italians but they are lazy and unwilling to cooperate. A generals' conference is to be held in which the invasion of England is likely to be discussed. Michelle gets Rene to do the catering and to get as much information as he can on the invasion. The results will be sent back to England with a long-distance duck.

9Season 5

S5.E9 ∙ Watch the Birdie

Sat, Oct 29, 1988

The generals gather for the conference but the Resistance learn that one is a French collaborator and must be eliminated so Mimi poisons him and Crabtree takes his place. The duck which will carry the message to England escapes and is shot by Bertorelli but the rest of the plan goes ahead. Edith causes a diversion by offering the generals a curiously strong peppermint each which is a doctored pill which has them foaming at the mouth and requires them to go to hospital. Rene then takes a photograph of the plans using a camera concealed in a 'flip-up' apron. Flick meanwhile has Helga fitted for her - leather -wedding dress.

10Season 5

S5.E10 ∙ René - Under an Assumed Nose

Sat, Nov 5, 1988

General Von Klinkerhoffen tells Von Strohm and Gruber to catch and kill René for trying to poison a group of high German generals.

11Season 5

S5.E11 ∙ The Confusion of the Generals

Sat, Nov 12, 1988

German generals plan to meet at the café disguised as onion sellers. So does a new group of shot down British airmen.

12Season 5

S5.E12 ∙ Who's for the Vatican?

Sat, Nov 19, 1988

Colonel Von Strohm and Gruber tell René to steal the paintings from the headquarters of the Communist Resistance.

13Season 5

S5.E13 ∙ Ribbing the Bonk

Sat, Nov 26, 1988

In order to free Von Strohm, Gruber, Bertorelli (and Mimi and the paintings), René and the others have to rob a bank to pay ransom to the communists.

14Season 5

S5.E14 ∙ The Reluctant Millionaires

Sat, Dec 3, 1988

The money that René and the gang have robbed from the bank turns out to be from Herr Flick, which makes René very nervous.

15Season 5

S5.E15 ∙ A Duck for Launch

Sat, Dec 10, 1988

Herr Flick tries to find his forged stolen money by selling fish in the town square with von Smallhausen.

16Season 5

S5.E16 ∙ The Exploding Bedpan

Sat, Dec 17, 1988

Monsieur Alphonse is in the hands of the Gestapo and because they fear he might talk and give them away, the colonel and Gruber want him dead.

17Season 5

S5.E17 ∙ Going Like a Bomb

Sat, Dec 24, 1988

When Helga tells Colonel von Strohm the stolen money was false, he thinks up a plan to get rid of the money and Captain Bertorelli.

18Season 5

S5.E18 ∙ Money to Burn

Sat, Dec 31, 1988

Herr Flick has arrested monsieur Leclerc and lets it be known he will be shot if the stolen Gestapo money isn't returned.

19Season 5

S5.E19 ∙ Puddings Can Go Off

Sat, Jan 7, 1989

To prevent the Germans from getting it, the resistance will bring 1,000 kilo of explosives to René, disguised as 500 Christmas puddings.

20Season 5

S5.E20 ∙ Land Mines for London

Sat, Jan 14, 1989

Herr Flick knows where the land mines are and, with Von Smallhausen, hides in them to arrest resistance members when they pick the mines up.

21Season 5

S5.E21 ∙ Flight to Geneva

Sat, Jan 21, 1989

After hearing yet another absurd plan of Michelle, René has had it and plans to take the train to Switzerland with Yvette and the paintings.

22Season 5

S5.E22 ∙ Train of Events

Sat, Jan 28, 1989

Many mishaps on the Geneva Express where Edith, Mimi and Yvette want René and the Germans and the Gestapo want the paintings.

23Season 5

S5.E23 ∙ An Enigma Variation

Sat, Feb 4, 1989

René and his personnel have to impersonate the Excelsior Quartet at the château.

24Season 5

S5.E24 ∙ Wedding Bloss

Sat, Feb 11, 1989

Monsieur Alphonse has proposed to Edith and René is scared he'll lose the café and the gold in the cuckoo's clock, so he decides to marry Edith.

25Season 5

S5.E25 ∙ Down the Drain

Sat, Feb 18, 1989

Michelle gives René the Enigma machine and tells him to put it in a wine barrel and throw it in the sewer where a British submarine awaits it.

26Season 5

S5.E26 ∙ All in Disgeese

Sat, Feb 25, 1989

Because they have been unable to get the Enigma machine to England, the Resistance has thought up a plan to get some British Intelligence people to Nouvion.

1Season 6

S6.E1 ∙ Desperate Doings in the Graveyard

Sat, Sep 2, 1989

The Resistance is building a communication center in the empty grave of René's twin brother and madame Fanny announces she's going to marry Ernest Leclerc.

2Season 6

S6.E2 ∙ The Gestapo for the High Jump

Sat, Sep 9, 1989

The Gestapo wants to find the headquarters of the Resistance by pretending to be shot-down British airmen.

3Season 6

S6.E3 ∙ The Nouvion Oars

Sat, Sep 16, 1989

Von Klinkerhoffen doesn't trust the Gestapo at all and orders Helga to marry Herr Flick so she can keep an eye on him.

4Season 6

S6.E4 ∙ The Nicked Airmen

Sat, Sep 23, 1989

The British airmen have been captured by the Germans. Michelle has a plan to get them. So does the Gestapo.

5Season 6

S6.E5 ∙ The Airmen De-Nicked

Sat, Sep 30, 1989

Flick and Von Smallhausen are interrogated by the general for impersonating army officers but released on the orders of Himmler - thanks to Helga. A party of intelligence officers are visiting and the Resistance plan to hi-jack their car,steal their uniforms and that way infiltrate the chateau to get the airmen out. Rene and Edith are the reluctant 'intelligence officers' but the plan works fairly well until the couple find themselves handcuffed to the airmen whilst the key to unlock them is in Berlin.

6Season 6

S6.E6 ∙ The Crooked Fences

Sat, Oct 7, 1989

Herr Flick wants the painting to sell it to obtain money so he can flee. So do the German officers.

7Season 6

S6.E7 ∙ Crabtree's Podgeon Pist

Sat, Oct 14, 1989

The wedding of Ernest and madame Fanny is a cover for the plan to get the British airmen to England by barrage balloon.

8Season 6

S6.E8 ∙ Rising to the Occasion

Sat, Oct 21, 1989

Von Strohm, Gruber, Helga and Bertorelli call General Von Flockenstoffen to deal with a mad General Von Klinkerhoffen, who wants to blow up the town.

1Season 7

S7.E1 ∙ A Quiet Honeymoon

Sat, Jan 5, 1991

Madame Fanny and Ernest Leclerc are being arrested after stealing a motor bike and smashing through a road block.

2Season 7

S7.E2 ∙ An Almighty Bang

Sat, Jan 12, 1991

Edith and Rene manage to free Madame Fanny and LeClerc and hide them in a folding bed in the wall upstairs at the cafe. However they become literally embedded in the wall as the bed gets stuck and Alphonse decides to use dynamite to shift it. This is a total success but it also blows up the two Gestapo officers who have come to interrogate the old couple. Gruber however comes in to say they have been pardoned. Von Fluckenstuffen's plan to kidnap Churchill does not go down well with the other officers when they learn that they are to be part of his suicide squad. However Von Fluckenstuffen gets drunk and demands to inspect Rene's cellar,accusing him of keeping back his best wines. To guide his way he lights a candle,in reality a stick of dynamite which explodes,giving him a nervous breakdown. Thus he changes places with Von Klinkerhoffen in the 'fruitcake ward' and Rene is to be recommended for a medal.

3Season 7

S7.E3 ∙ Fleeing Monks

Sat, Jan 19, 1991

General Von Klinkerhoffen wants to give René a collaboration medal.

4Season 7

S7.E4 ∙ Up the Crick Without a Piddle

Sat, Jan 26, 1991

In England, René and Edith see Captain Hans Geering again.

5Season 7

S7.E5 ∙ The Gestapo Ruins a Picnic

Sat, Feb 2, 1991

General Von Klinkerhoffen wants to restart the local newspaper for Nazi propaganda. René should run it.

6Season 7

S7.E6 ∙ The Spirit of Nouvion

Sat, Feb 9, 1991

René and the gang, as well as the colonel, Gruber and Bertorelli plan to steal the painting from Herr Flick.

7Season 7

S7.E7 ∙ Leg It to Spain!

Sat, Feb 16, 1991

Rene considers flight to Spain dressed as an onion-seller but is stopped by the German officers who ask about the painting. It ends up back with Von Klinkerhoffen, to the annoyance of Flick, who asks Helga help him retrieve it. However she flirts with Bertorelli to make him jealous. Michelle puts the airmen in wine barrels in Rene's cellar to smuggle them out but the general turns up and orders that the barrels be sent to the chateau.

8Season 7

S7.E8 ∙ Prior Engagements

Sat, Feb 23, 1991

The newspaper is published with Edith on the cover representing the 'Spirit of Nouvion'. For the second edition the general decides there should be a show marriage, to be annulled after the war, in order to cement local relations. Edith will marry one of the occupying officers - Bertorelli. There will be a celebration and this will include wine - from the barrels containing the airmen. Michelle and her group manage to float the barrels out through the sewers but they get stuck behind a grid under the cafe.

9Season 7

S7.E9 ∙ Soup and Sausage

Sat, Mar 2, 1991

The hinges on the grid are rusted on solid so Alphonse will chisel away at the surrounds and the grating will be winched up. To camouflage the action Rene will park his old ice cream van over the grating. However Von Klinkerhoffen decides that he wants an ice cream and,at that very moment,the winch pulling the grating up blows the pump on the ice cream maker,covering the general with vanilla ice cream. Meanwhile Helga has gone on a training course and her replacement, Elsa, takes an instant shine to Flick.

10Season 7

S7.E10 ∙ René of the Gypsies

Sat, Mar 16, 1991

On the discovery that a gypsy fair takes place annually in the village, the new Resistance plan is to place a gypsy tent over the grid to disguise the escape. However, the real gypsies cry off, following a bad omen, and Rene and his staff take their places. Rene is a fortune teller, to whom Gruber comes, seeking a message from Rene's 'brother' on the other side. He is frightened off by the sounds of the airmen and runs off as they emerge from the grid - followed by three other airmen, who return to the sewer at the sight of Edith. Flick has Elsa put the forgery in von Strohm's office but they are found out by the general.

0Season 8

S8.E0 ∙ A Bun in the Oven

Tue, Dec 24, 1991

Two years have elapsed and it is now September 1943. The airmen have escaped to England and Bertorelli and the Italian troops have withdrawn. Rene's hopes for peace and quiet are, however, dashed as Yvette announces her pregnancy. With the war now seeming to turn against Germany, Von Klinkerhoffen considers assassinating Hitler. Gruber and Von Strohm hope to sell the original painting and flee to Spain so they get Helga to steal it. To ensure her cut when the sale goes ahead she 'removes' one of the Fallen Madonna's boobies as her insurance.

1Season 8

S8.E1 ∙ Arousing Suspicions

Sun, Jan 5, 1992

Michelle wants Rene to set up a mobile radio station to broadcast propaganda, the parts of which will be dropped by plane. Unfortunately they fall down one of the chateau's chimneys. Happily a Spanish flamenco group are booked to perform there so Rene and his staff impersonate them. Gruber is aware that the real dance troupe contains a Spanish art expert to whom he is to give a photograph of the painting for copying, but he gives it to Alphonse by mistake.

2Season 8

S8.E2 ∙ A Woman Never Lies

Sun, Jan 12, 1992

Herr Flick gives Helga a truth serum.

3Season 8

S8.E3 ∙ Hitler's Last Heil

Sun, Jan 19, 1992

When Michelle hears Hitler and Göring will be coming to Nouvion, she plans to blow them up. Meanwhile, it's René's birthday.

4Season 8

S8.E4 ∙ Awful Wedded Wife

Sun, Jan 26, 1992

The colonel and Gruber decide to make a down payment on the ransom while Helga is still trying to get Herr Flick and Von Smallhausen out of jail.

5Season 8

S8.E5 ∙ Firing Squashed

Sun, Feb 2, 1992

Herr Flick and Von Smallhausen face the firing squad for robbing the pay truck.

6Season 8

S8.E6 ∙ A Fistful of Francs

Sun, Feb 9, 1992

Von Klinkerhoffen orders Gruber and Colonel Von Strohm to dress up as Hitler and Göring pretending to leave town so he can catch any Resistance group that tries to attack them.

7Season 8

S8.E7 ∙ Swan Song

Sun, Mar 1, 1992

After the colonel and Gruber find out Von Klinkerhoffen will get the photo of Gruber with the painting, they plan to flee to Spain.

1Season 9

S9.E1 ∙ Fighting with Windmills

Mon, Nov 9, 1992

The Colonel and Gruber's escape plan went awry and they now want to make General Von Klinkerhoffen believe the Resistance had kidnapped them.

2Season 9

S9.E2 ∙ Missing and Presumed Dead

Mon, Nov 16, 1992

While everybody thinks he's dead, René is kept underground in the hide-out of the communist Resistance as a love slave.

3Season 9

S9.E3 ∙ René Artois Is Still Dead

Mon, Nov 23, 1992

Taking advantage of the fact the Germans think René is dead, Michelle has planned for him to go to England to help the British win the war.

4Season 9

S9.E4 ∙ The Fishmonger Float

Mon, Nov 30, 1992

Herr Flick and Von Smallhausen plan to kidnap Yvette and Mimi, dress up like them and, using their keys, go to the café to search for the painting.

5Season 9

S9.E5 ∙ A Fishy Sendoff

Mon, Dec 7, 1992

While René and the others make the final preparations for the parade, the general, the colonel and Gruber - during a game of golf - discuss the plot to blow up Hitler.

6Season 9

S9.E6 ∙ A Winkle in Time

Mon, Dec 14, 1992

Rene and the Cafe staff prepare to welcome the invading British troops, and soon find that the invasion party includes a couple of old friends. Lieutenant Gruber and the Colonel are ordered by the General to stay and fight the invaders, rather than surrender. However, seeing as their defeat is almost certain, the two German officers decide to go AWOL, disguised in stolen British uniforms. The second half of the episode is set many years after the war ends. Gruber, the Colonel and Helga, now private German citizens, return to their old French garrison in search of the old friends they made there.