Green Acres

A New York City attorney and his wife attempt to live as genteel farmers in the bizarre community of Hooterville.

Cast:Eddie Albert , Eva Gabor , Tom Lester , Pat Buttram , Alvy Moore , Frank Cady , Hank Patterson , Mary Grace Canfield , Sid Melton , Barbara Pepper , Kay E. Kuter , Robert Foulk , Edgar Buchanan , Eleanor Audley , Rufe Davis , Dave Willock , Phil Gordon , Smiley Burnette

1Season 1

S1.E1 ∙ Oliver Buys a Farm

Wed, Sep 15, 1965

Oliver Wendell Douglas quits his job as a lawyer and moves from Park Avenue to Hooterville. He wants to get away from the "rat race" of the city. His beautiful wife Lisa doesn't exactly love the idea.

2Season 1

S1.E2 ∙ Lisa's First Day on the Farm

Wed, Sep 22, 1965

Oliver and Lisa's first day is a disaster due to Mr. Haney moving out all the plumbing fixtures and then some.

3Season 1

S1.E3 ∙ The Decorator

Wed, Sep 29, 1965

Oliver wants to start his farming, but Lisa demands he have their house redecorated first. Sam Drucker recommends a decorator from Pixley. Kate Bradley tries to tutor Lisa in the kitchen since she doesn't know the first thing about cooking. Kate starts by showing her how to make something easy: hotcakes. Adding to the chaos is Oliver's mother, who arrives to rescue Lisa from this nightmarish, rustic life.

4Season 1

S1.E4 ∙ The Best Laid Plans

Wed, Oct 6, 1965

Lisa goes back to New York to get their furniture causing the townsfolk to think that she has left for good.

5Season 1

S1.E5 ∙ My Husband, the Rooster Renter

Wed, Oct 13, 1965

Oliver is hoodwinked into renting a rooster from Mr. Haney. Of course he will need to rent a hen to make the rooster crow. It is the first of many things he will buy/rent from Mr. Haney.

6Season 1

S1.E6 ∙ Furniture, Furniture, Who's Got the Furniture?

Wed, Oct 20, 1965

Oliver and Lisa finally get their furniture delivered from New York but it's sent to the "new" Haney place.

7Season 1

S1.E7 ∙ Neighborliness

Wed, Oct 27, 1965

Oliver's Hoyt-Clagwell tractor breaks down, and his neighbors come to the rescue.

8Season 1

S1.E8 ∙ Lisa the Helpmate

Wed, Nov 3, 1965

Oliver's mother doesn't approve of his decision to become a farmer so she sabotages his soil samples.

9Season 1

S1.E9 ∙ You Can't Plug in a 2 with a 6

Wed, Nov 10, 1965

Oliver plants crops using a bizarre country formula. Lisa can't grasp the principal of electricity.

10Season 1

S1.E10 ∙ Don't Call Us, We'll Call You

Wed, Nov 17, 1965

Oliver finally gets a phone installed but it's placed on top of the telephone pole.

11Season 1

S1.E11 ∙ Parity Begins at Home

Wed, Nov 24, 1965

Oliver wants to plant and sell all 160 acres of wheat but the local government committee tells him that he's not allowed.

12Season 1

S1.E12 ∙ Lisa Has a Calf

Wed, Dec 8, 1965

Eleanor the cow is pregnant and everyone thinks that it's Lisa who is expecting.

13Season 1

S1.E13 ∙ The Wedding Anniversary

Wed, Dec 15, 1965

Oliver gets in trouble with Lisa when he forgets how long they have been married.

14Season 1

S1.E14 ∙ What Happened in Scranton?

Wed, Dec 22, 1965

Lisa starts a beauty parlor and brings in Claude the hairdresser.

15Season 1

S1.E15 ∙ How to Enlarge a Bedroom

Wed, Dec 29, 1965

Alf and Ralph begin work on the bedroom but their work gets condemned.

16Season 1

S1.E16 ∙ Give Me Land, Lots of Land

Wed, Jan 5, 1966

Lisa is against buying neighboring property owned by the Watsons until she sees their farmhouse. Thinking it's part of the deal, Lisa sells the Watsons' furniture to Mr. Haney and has their things brought over. All of this happens while Oliver is in New York arranging the financing.

17Season 1

S1.E17 ∙ I Didn't Raise My Husband to Be a Fireman

Wed, Jan 19, 1966

Oliver is allowed to join the Hooterville Volunteer Fire Department if he'll play an instrument in their marching band. As Chief Joe Carson explains, they have more parades than fires. Patriotic speeches follow as Oliver takes his new duties very seriously.

18Season 1

S1.E18 ∙ Lisa Bakes a Cake

Wed, Jan 26, 1966

After Lisa lists Oliver in the new phone directory as an attorney, he fears he'll be flooded with calls wanting his legal advice. Instead, he turns cranky when his phone doesn't ring. Meanwhile, Lisa accepts the challenge of baking a cake. Oliver's first potential customer has the misfortune of facing Lisa's 20-pound pound cake.

19Season 1

S1.E19 ∙ Sprained Ankle, Country Style

Wed, Feb 2, 1966

While fixing the TV antenna, Oliver falls through the roof and sprains his ankle. Hooterville residents parade through his bedroom to give their regards. They all bring him food, but eat it themselves as they crowd him off his bed to watch "Frankenstein Meets Mary Poppins" on TV.

20Season 1

S1.E20 ∙ The Price of Apples

Wed, Feb 9, 1966

Oliver will make considerably more on his apple crop if he gets it to market first. He hires local high schoolers to pick the fruit and uses their old truck to haul them. As the rickety vehicle suffers numerous breakdowns, the apple prices begin to drop. Finally, Lisa's "hotscakes" come to the rescue.

21Season 1

S1.E21 ∙ What's in a Name?

Wed, Feb 16, 1966

Ralph Monroe is smitten with Hank Kimball, but discovers that he won't date a woman with a man's name. She asks Oliver to file court papers to have her name changed to something more feminine. While in court, Oliver learns that his license to practice law is not recognized by the state. This sends Oliver back to the books to study for the state's bar exam.

22Season 1

S1.E22 ∙ The Day of Decision

Wed, Feb 23, 1966

Lisa agreed to try out the farm for six months. Today's the day she decides whether to stay in Hooterville or return to New York. Everyone anxiously awaits her decision. In the meantime, Oliver flashes back to their first days on the farm, his physical mishaps around the house, and the lousy products Haney's tried to sell him.

23Season 1

S1.E23 ∙ A Pig in a Poke

Wed, Mar 9, 1966

Oliver is invited to New York to be the guest speaker at a Harvard alumni banquet but he arrives with an unexpected stowaway. Meanwhile, the Ziffels fear that they'll lose Arnold to Mr. Haney, who's trying to take the pig in lieu of a debt that he claims the Ziffels owe him.

24Season 1

S1.E24 ∙ The Deputy

Wed, Mar 16, 1966

Sam Drucker's going on a two-week vacation to visit his sister and leaves Oliver to take over his duties as deputy sheriff. Complications ensue when Oliver demonstrates how to use a pair of handcuffs to Lisa before discovering that he's lost the keys.

25Season 1

S1.E25 ∙ Double Drick

Wed, Mar 23, 1966

Tired of repairing the rickety generator that Haney sold him, Oliver checks on the status of his electricity. Learning that his application was never mailed, Oliver decides to deal with the power company in person. He finds that nothing in Hooterville is done simply--or correctly; he ends up with a meter that runs even when it's disconnected and another pole by the bedroom window.

26Season 1

S1.E26 ∙ The Ballad of Molly Turgiss

Wed, Apr 6, 1966

Oliver wants to write a folk song about local legend Molly Turgiss, a woman so ugly she was run out of Hooterville. Facts are hard to come by, though, because the mere mention of her name causes bad to happen. Lisa feels sorry for Molly and offers to give her a make-over.

27Season 1

S1.E27 ∙ Never Look a Gift Tractor in the Mouth

Wed, Apr 27, 1966

Lisa wants to surprise Oliver with a new tractor for his birthday. To keep it out of sight, she has it delivered to the Ziffels' farm. The old couple mistakes it for a gift from Mrs. Douglas, leading Doris to think that Fred and Lisa are having a torrid affair.

28Season 1

S1.E28 ∙ Send a Boy to College

Wed, May 4, 1966

Eb's talent for curing sick animals leads the Douglases to send him to veterinarian school. Unfortunately, his college career is short-lived due to one small oversight.

29Season 1

S1.E29 ∙ Horse? What Horse?

Wed, May 11, 1966

Lisa believes that Oliver's beginning to crack under the pressure of running the farm. After he claims to have seen a spotted horse and a zebra, she calls Doc Stuart to give him a checkup. Lisa's attempt to slip Oliver a sedative backfires, resulting in her taking a very long nap.

30Season 1

S1.E30 ∙ The Rains Came

Wed, May 18, 1966

A drought in Hooterville has crops wilting in the fields. Oliver is so desperate, he agrees to pay Haney $350 if he can bring some relief. That's when Haney presents dancing Chief Thundercloud. When the rains eventually arrive, Oliver refuses to pay. He claims the Chief's dancing is not what did the trick.

31Season 1

S1.E31 ∙ Culture

Wed, May 25, 1966

The "Every Other Wednesday Afternoon Discussion Club" decides to bring culture to the valley by starting the Hooterville Symphony Orchestra. Oliver calls the women "nuts" for considering such a ridiculous idea. Undeterred, Lisa calls her conductor friend Sir Geoffrey to come and conduct the orchestra. What he encounters is the Hooterville Volunteer Fire Department Marching Band playing the only song they know.

32Season 1

S1.E32 ∙ Uncle Ollie

Wed, Jun 1, 1966

Oliver and Lisa's groovy nephew arrives in Hooterville on his motorcycle with long hair, hip lingo and no interest in work. However, Chuck is excellent with motors and proceeds to "soup up" all the vehicles in the valley. The easily influenced Eb is quick to decide he wants to be a hippie beatnik.

1Season 2

S2.E1 ∙ Wings Over Hooterville

Wed, Sep 14, 1966

When the dreaded "bing bug" threatens all the crops in Hooterville, Oliver tries to rally the people to rid the town of the menace. He is then volunteered to be the one to fly the crop duster over the fields due to his experience as a pilot in World War II. It also gives him and Lisa a chance to reminisce about the first time they met after his engine failed during a mission.

2Season 2

S2.E2 ∙ Water, Water Everywhere

Wed, Sep 21, 1966

Short on water, Mr. Haney contracts Willie the Well-Witcher to find a new spot to dig a well. But once Mr. Haney gets water, the Douglases lose theirs. After Willie witches a new well for Oliver, the Ziffles' water dries up. After a few more rounds of this, Oliver suggests the valley get its water from a reservoir. That idea sounds great, until the valves are opened.

3Season 2

S2.E3 ∙ I Didn't Raise My Pig to Be a Soldier

Wed, Sep 28, 1966

The draft board sends Arnold Ziffel a conscription notice without realizing he is a pig.

4Season 2

S2.E4 ∙ How to See South America by Bus

Wed, Oct 5, 1966

A lovely young female farmer comes to Oliver for his professional help. He's glad to oblige, especially when he learns that she can cook. Lisa first becomes jealous of the time the two spend together. Then she becomes convinced they're having an affair, especially after overhearing Mrs. Ziffel describing the plot on her favorite soap opera.

5Season 2

S2.E5 ∙ The Ugly Duckling

Wed, Oct 19, 1966

Ralph is devastated when her true love, Hank Kimball, stands her up on another date. Lisa's solution is make Ralph more feminine. While she works at the mammoth task, Oliver is forced to sleep in the barn with Eb. Later, the "new" Ralph, complete with false eyelashes that stick together, is presented to the unsuspecting Mr. Kimball.

6Season 2

S2.E6 ∙ One of Our Assemblymen Is Missing

Wed, Oct 26, 1966

Oliver's back on his soap box, delivering fiery patriotic speeches after getting a bill for the State Farm Unattached Duty Tax. No one in Hooterville knows what the tax is for, so Oliver tries to contact his assemblyman. That's when he learns Hooterville hasn't held an election for one since 1922. He and Lisa travel to the state capital to meet the governor and remedy the situation.

7Season 2

S2.E7 ∙ The Good Old Days

Wed, Nov 2, 1966

Oliver describes to Lisa the book he's reading, hoping she'll have a greater appreciation of being a farm wife. Set on the frontier in 1887, poor farmer Gus Thompson and his surrogate mail-order bride Etta clear the land, start a farm from scratch, and have 25 children.

8Season 2

S2.E8 ∙ Eb Discovers the Birds and the Bees

Wed, Nov 9, 1966

Eb is suddenly smitten with with Betty Jo Bradley and asks Oliver for some fatherly advice on romance. Recalling how his first evening out with Lisa cost him a fortune, Oliver advises Eb to make all of their evening's plans. That's just what Eb does--incorrectly--causing Betty Jo to cancel their date.

9Season 2

S2.E9 ∙ The Hooterville Image

Wed, Nov 16, 1966

The Hooterville farmers have decided that Oliver is ruining the town's image by doing his farming chores in a suit. Oliver eventually gives in to their demand to wear overalls, but they weren't planning on the high-fashion pair that Lisa's dressmaker has designed.

10Season 2

S2.E10 ∙ You Ought to Be in Pictures

Wed, Nov 23, 1966

James Stuart from the agricultural department wants to do a film on the pitfalls of new farmers. The locals think "Jimmy Stewart" is coming to make a big Hollywood movie so they all enroll in Haney's film-acting school. In the meantime, Oliver's farming practices prove especially embarrassing for the camera.

11Season 2

S2.E11 ∙ A Home Isn't Built in a Day

Wed, Nov 30, 1966

Tired of living in a dump, Lisa demands some serious home improvements. Oliver fires the Monroe brothers and hires an architect to draw up plans. Renovations come to a screeching halt thanks to the Monroes' picket line and famous Hootervillian Rutherford B. Skrug.

12Season 2

S2.E12 ∙ A Square Is Not Round

Wed, Dec 14, 1966

Oliver discovers that one of his chickens is laying square eggs, but he can't find out which one it is. In addition, he finds out that he has a toaster that only works when you say the word "five". When he mentions this to the boys at Drucker's, they sympathize with him for having an old model--they have new models that only work when you say "eight".

13Season 2

S2.E13 ∙ An Old-Fashioned Christmas

Wed, Dec 21, 1966

Sam Drucker is selling artificial Christmas trees that squirt "genuine spruce spray" from the top and ooze fake sap from the trunk. Oliver is horrified; he wants an old-fashioned Christmas with a real tree, but first he must get a permit from Mr. Kimball to chop one down. After decorating a real tree on Christmas Eve, the neighbors drop by the Douglases for an evening of songs and Lisa's "hotscake fruitscake."

14Season 2

S2.E14 ∙ Never Trust a Little Old Lady

Wed, Dec 28, 1966

It's tomato planting season and Oliver needs useful weather information. Hooterville relies on WPIXL-TV's Mildred, a little old lady who prances out of her dollhouse, or Walter, the singing weatherman. Both are always wrong so Oliver contacts the Weather Bureau which predicts warm days and nights. The plants are in the ground when Hooterville suffers the coldest night of the year. Lisa's Crepe Suzettes save the crop from the cold.

15Season 2

S2.E15 ∙ School Days

Wed, Jan 4, 1967

Oliver spends a lot of time in the principal's office when Lisa enrolls at Hooterville High. In school primarily for a cooking course, she also disrupts history class with her own version of Hungary's past, destroys the women's showers and explodes a chemistry lab.

16Season 2

S2.E16 ∙ His Honor

Wed, Jan 11, 1967

Oliver misunderstands when the Hooterville bigwigs ask him to be a judge. He thinks he's being appointed an appellate judge, but they just want him to judge apples at the county fair. The Douglases travel to New York so Oliver can get some judging advice while Lisa shops for a robe and wig for His Honor.

17Season 2

S2.E17 ∙ It's So Peaceful in the Country

Wed, Jan 18, 1967

Oliver's mother needs bed rest so she heads to her son's farm in Hooterville. All she has to do is ignore a noisy tractor, a ringing telephone, Alf and Ralph's drilling, dancing Sioux Indians, and their chief who thinks she's a looker.

18Season 2

S2.E18 ∙ Exodus to Bleedswell

Wed, Jan 25, 1967

The residents of Hooterville flock to nearby Bleedswell for jobs at the new defense plant. To keep people from leaving, Hooterville reopens its old airplane factory to fulfill its contract with the Army--signed during WWI.

19Season 2

S2.E19 ∙ It's Human to Be Humane

Wed, Feb 1, 1967

Bored and looking for a project, Lisa becomes the head of the "Hooterville Human Humane Committee." She takes her cause to the extreme, declaring everything from duck hunting to selling chicken eggs off limits. Soon, the Douglas' house is a zoo and the locals are ready to run Lisa out of town.

20Season 2

S2.E20 ∙ Never Take Your Wife to a Convention

Wed, Feb 8, 1967

The only thing Oliver learns at a farming convention is how to get a hangover. He and Lisa meet up with Charlie, a former gangster-turned-farmer, and Wanda, his floozy dancer wife. The more Charlie talks about his farm, the more Oliver's convinced that his criminal days are not in the past.

21Season 2

S2.E21 ∙ The Computer Age

Wed, Feb 15, 1967

A desperate Ralph Monroe joins a computer dating service to meet a husband. Oliver thinks it's a great idea since computers are always right. Lisa thinks they can't possibly take the place of romance, so she challenges Oliver to test their match-up on the electric brain.

22Season 2

S2.E22 ∙ Never Start Talking Unless Your Voice Comes Out

Wed, Feb 22, 1967

Oliver has to choose between being a farmer or lawyer when he gets an offer to practice in Washington, D.C. The official-looking letter, however, has the locals convinced that Oliver is hiding a juicy secret from them. After ruling out bootlegger and counterfeiter, that leaves only one choice: CIA agent.

23Season 2

S2.E23 ∙ The Beverly Hillbillies

Wed, Mar 1, 1967

When the cast takes ill, the Douglases become stars in a charity production of "The Beverly Hillbillies." After Eb "punches up" a script from the series, Hank Kimball plays Jed Clampett, Oliver appears as Jethro, and Lisa portrays Granny with a combination Hungarian/southern accent.

24Season 2

S2.E24 ∙ Lisa's Vegetable Garden

Wed, Mar 8, 1967

According to Oliver, every farm wife should be growing her own vegetables so Lisa starts a garden. Armed with useless pamphlets from Mr. Kimball and a flask of perfume, Lisa begins work. It's hardly a money-saving proposition after she buys a tractor, farm supplies, and hires Alf and Ralph as her housekeepers.

25Season 2

S2.E25 ∙ The Saucer Season

Wed, Mar 15, 1967

Once Eb's wild story about meeting space aliens hits the press, tourists descend on the Douglas farm to meet the new celebrity. Oliver's more concerned about the crowd trampling his crops, but the Air Force takes his claim seriously. At least at first.

26Season 2

S2.E26 ∙ Getting Even with Haney

Wed, Mar 22, 1967

Tired of Doris' nagging about having to beat their laundry on a rock in the creek, Fred buys a Grabwell washing machine from Mr. Haney. The boat motor in a barrel goes berserk, spraying water and clothes everywhere before chasing the Ziffels out their front door. Oliver is more than happy to take their case and stick it to Haney in the courtroom.

27Season 2

S2.E27 ∙ Kimball Gets Fired

Wed, Mar 29, 1967

Ralph Monroe is distraught when her beloved "Hankie" Kimball is fired as the county agricultural agent. His replacement is so rude and insulting that even Oliver is plotting to get Kimball rehired. His scheme is to scare the new guy away by fixing him up with Ralph.

28Season 2

S2.E28 ∙ The Vulgar Ring Story

Wed, Apr 12, 1967

Lisa says that women in her family must marry an American every fourth generation to keep the huge ring she now wears. She regales Hooterville with the story of her great, great grandmother, the Queen of the Gypsies, and her courtship of an American artist, Cornelius. Much stealing and dancing is involved.

29Season 2

S2.E29 ∙ Who's Lisa?

Wed, Apr 19, 1967

While fixing the roof, Oliver accidentally drops a hammer on Lisa's head, giving her amnesia. Initially, he's upset because she doesn't even recognize him. On the up side, the "new" Lisa can actually cook a decent meal. Oliver begins to suspect she's faking just so he'll take her to New York for the opening of opera season.

30Season 2

S2.E30 ∙ Music to Milk By

Wed, Apr 26, 1967

Eb becomes obsessed over winning a contest on a Pixley radio station. To win, he has to listen around the clock and identify all the groovy tunes. That becomes even harder after Eleanor the cow swallows the radio Oliver had just bought him for his birthday.

1Season 3

S3.E1 ∙ The Man for the Job

Wed, Sep 6, 1967

The state committee to nominate a new senator considers Oliver as their candidate. Upon hearing about his credentials (he can read and write), they send representatives to Hooterville to meet the man and learn what his neighbors think of him.

2Season 3

S3.E2 ∙ Lisa's Jam Session

Wed, Sep 13, 1967

Drucker's store doesn't sell jam since all the Hooterville women make their own. Oliver encourages the reluctant Lisa to learn how to make preserves from Doris Ziffel since her's are the best in the valley. Lisa submits, citing the Hungarian Parliament's "Big Dumb Law of 1924" which stated, "All Hungarian women had to do whatever their husbands wanted them to do, no matter how dumb it was." With Doris' help, Lisa easily makes dozens of jars of "homemade" jam. Oliver is impressed, until he learns Mrs. Ziffel's secret.

3Season 3

S3.E3 ∙ Love Comes to Arnold Ziffel

Wed, Sep 20, 1967

Fred Ziffel objects to Arnold's love affair with shifty Mr. Haney's basset hound Cynthia. Realizing that their relationship can never work, Arnold breaks off their relationship. When Cynthia performs miserably at the county field trials, Haney wants to sue over his heartbroken hound.

4Season 3

S3.E4 ∙ Oliver vs. the Phone Company

Wed, Sep 27, 1967

Oliver is finally fed up with the lousy service of the Hooterville Phone Company. He petitions the state "futilities commercial" (as Lisa calls it) for improvements, but they can't help; Hooterville needs at least forty-two customers to be covered by the law. Tired of hearing Oliver boast about how he could run the company better, Trendell, the president, hands him the keys to the place.

5Season 3

S3.E5 ∙ Oliver Takes Over the Phone Company

Wed, Oct 4, 1967

Oliver's without an operator on his first day as president of the Hooterville Phone Company. As he wrestles with an exploding switchboard, the locals gossip about how he stole the company from Roy Trendell in a rigged card game. Lisa figures out how to put calls through, but had rather flirt with the president than work the switchboard all night.

6Season 3

S3.E6 ∙ A Kind Word for the President

Wed, Oct 11, 1967

Irritated by complaints and about how much money he's losing, Oliver raises the rates at the Hooterville Phone Company. His top priority, however, is getting the Monroe brothers to connect his own phone inside the house. In the kitchen, Lisa discovers the magic of Dee Dee's Dehydrated Dinners. Just drop a bag into boiling water and out comes a full meal and a bottle of wine.

7Season 3

S3.E7 ∙ Don't Count Your Tomatoes Before They're Picked

Wed, Oct 18, 1967

Oliver's reign as "El Presidente" of the phone company crashes and burns when he hires a farm worker to be his operator. He pays Haney to take the nightmare off his hands, but soon Hooterville is up in arms over the price-gouging Haney Phone Company.

8Season 3

S3.E8 ∙ Eb Elopes

Wed, Oct 25, 1967

The Douglases find a note from Eb saying he's eloped. While he's on his honeymoon, his cousin Walter will cover his duties. Unfortunately, Walter's experience is limited to bartending at the old Stankwell Falls Lounge. This leads to more destruction than usual on the farm and everyone thinking Oliver's opening a cocktail lounge.

9Season 3

S3.E9 ∙ The Thing

Wed, Nov 1, 1967

Oliver is tired of paying storage for something neither he or Lisa can recall, so he has it shipped to Hooterville. Inside a giant crate is a genuine Stavinski birdbath that Lisa had bought years earlier for Oliver's birthday. The hideous collection of pipes and faucets leads Oliver to plot "the thing's" demise

10Season 3

S3.E10 ∙ Das Lumpen

Wed, Nov 8, 1967

Lisa tells another version of how she and Oliver met during World War II. As a member of the Hungarian underground, she saved him from Nazis by hiding him in a barn and got him a Purple Heart by poking him in the rump with a pitchfork. They saw each other again after the war when Lisa was a professional cello player.

11Season 3

S3.E11 ∙ Won't You Come Home, Arnold Ziffel?

Wed, Nov 15, 1967

With Doris away for a few days, Fred looks after Arnold by himself. When Arnold sees an advertisement for free movies and ice cream, he goes to Pixley. Lisa is convinced he's been pig-napped, so they all go on a search that leads them to a packing house. During a nightmare one morning she accidentally gives Oliver a bloody nose.

12Season 3

S3.E12 ∙ Jealousy, English Style

Wed, Nov 22, 1967

Over Lisa's objections, Oliver plans on attending a farm symposium alone. To watch over her, he hires a charming young British man as a temporary farm hand. Determined to go along, Lisa plots to make Oliver so jealous of the handsome hired help that he wouldn't dare leave her behind.

13Season 3

S3.E13 ∙ Haney's New Image

Wed, Nov 29, 1967

Oliver gets the usual runaround from Haney when he complains about the ancient tractor he'd bought. But suddenly, it's a new, honest Haney who offers to buy back the tractor and the "dump" of a farm he sold Oliver. Coincidentally, Haney heard that the Douglas farm is in the path of a proposed new highway. Oliver's soon onto his scheme and decides to make the charlatan squirm.

14Season 3

S3.E14 ∙ Alf and Ralph Break Up

Wed, Dec 13, 1967

Alf and Ralph announce that they are finally going to finish the Douglas' bedroom, but the project stalls when the "brothers" have a fight. Lisa hires Ralph as their maid and Oliver can't bring himself to fire her when he discovers she's a good cook.

15Season 3

S3.E15 ∙ No Trespassing

Wed, Dec 20, 1967

Oliver shows symptoms of overwork, so Lisa talks him into going on a picnic.

16Season 3

S3.E16 ∙ Eb Returns

Wed, Dec 27, 1967

Eb is embarrassed to tell the Douglases that he was stood up at the altar and took his honeymoon trip alone. He begs an old girlfriend, Cynthia, to pose as his new bride just long enough to meet his "parents". She agrees if it won't take long since she has a big date to get ready for.

17Season 3

S3.E17 ∙ Not Guilty

Wed, Jan 3, 1968

Sam Drucker calls the law when he finds $300 is missing from his safe. With the investigation pointing only to Frank Nitti, Eb is finally charged. He shows up in a car he paid $300 for, but can't recall who gave him the money to buy it.

18Season 3

S3.E18 ∙ Home Is Where You Run Away From

Wed, Jan 10, 1968

A mysterious young boy shows up at the Douglas farm and claims to be from another world.

19Season 3

S3.E19 ∙ How to Succeed in Television Without Really Trying

Wed, Jan 24, 1968

A 10 year old whiz makes a deal with Lisa to "electronificate" the Douglas home for 28 dollars. Havoc ensues as he attempts to automate the entire farm.

20Season 3

S3.E20 ∙ Arnold, Boy Hero

Wed, Jan 31, 1968

Arnold is opening an account at the Pixley Bank when two robbers make off with a bundle of cash and the pig's five dollars. The pair hides out at the Douglas' farm, taking Lisa, Oliver and Eb hostage. Arnold runs off with their bag of loot and takes it to the authorities while the clueless criminals force Lisa to make hotcakes for them.

21Season 3

S3.E21 ∙ Flight to Nowhere

Wed, Feb 7, 1968

The farmers of Hooterville sign up for a government-sponsored agriculture exchange program to Europe. When they realize the $300 cost for tickets is per person, not per plane-load, they decide to supply their own airplane and fly themselves over. Since Oliver flew in the war, they draft him to be their pilot. The FAA puts a stop to their cockamamie plans.

22Season 3

S3.E22 ∙ My Mother, the Countess

Wed, Feb 14, 1968

On learning that Lisa's mother is coming for a visit, the Hooterville residents go overboard in wanting to welcome the countess. Despite Oliver's protests that she's not royalty, they forge ahead anyway with plans for a parade and marching band.

23Season 3

S3.E23 ∙ The Spring Festival

Wed, Feb 21, 1968

Everyone in Hooterville, except Oliver, is overcome with spring fever; even Sam Drucker is wearing his spring toupee. Deciding to revive the Hooterville spring festival, Lisa visits the neighbors to drum up support. Meanwhile, Oliver tries to do his planting with Eb who can't understand how to work the automatic planter.

24Season 3

S3.E24 ∙ Our Son, the Barber

Wed, Feb 28, 1968

Eb's latest career choice is that of a barber. He talks Oliver into paying his tuition to MIT, a mail-order barber college. Eb's sent a dummy head and hair to practice on and receives his grades by mailing the trimmed toupees back to the school. Lisa is excited about Eb's education while Oliver is irritated by all the hidden costs he keeps being asked to pay.

25Season 3

S3.E25 ∙ Oliver's Jaded Past

Wed, Mar 6, 1968

Lisa reminds Oliver that he promised her a New York vacation if she stayed with him on the farm for two years.

26Season 3

S3.E26 ∙ The Hungarian Curse

Wed, Mar 13, 1968

The Hungarian man who saved the life of Lisa's uncle moves in, seeking repayment for his good deed. Lisa feels an obligation to help Lazlo, but Oliver is simply irritated by his constant money-grubbing. Oliver's also unfazed by Lazlo's threats to cast a Hungarian curse on him.

27Season 3

S3.E27 ∙ The Rutabaga Story

Wed, Mar 20, 1968

It's planting season in Hooterville, but Oliver doesn't know what to grow. After testing the soil, he discovers Hooterville is perfect for growing rutabagas. The locals are overcome with rutabaga fever, going so far as to plan a "Rutabaga Bowl." To spread the word, Lisa is sent up in a hot-air balloon to drop vegetables on people with the message "Eat Hooterville Rutabagas" written on them.

28Season 3

S3.E28 ∙ Instant Family

Wed, Mar 27, 1968

At Sam Drucker's store, Oliver and Lisa meet their new neighbor who's about to go into labor. After racing her to the hospital, Oliver arrives home to find Lisa's volunteered to keep the woman's four other children in their home. Oliver's nerves become frayed when he's forced to sleep in the barn with the boys and spend all day carrying the kids to and from school.

29Season 3

S3.E29 ∙ A Star Named Arnold Is Born: Part 1

Wed, Apr 3, 1968

Arnold's performance as a British police dog in the Hooterville theater production of "Who"--the marquee wasn't big enough for "Who Killed Jock Robin?"--turns him into an overnight star. Lisa is so impressed, she arranges for an old friend to give him a Hollywood screen test. After the locals stage a telethon to raise money for the trip, the Douglases are soon escorting the hammy actor West for his big showbiz break.

30Season 3

S3.E30 ∙ A Star Named Arnold Is Born: Part 2

Wed, Apr 10, 1968

Oliver and Lisa chaperon Arnold to Hollywood for his screen test. Producer Boris Fedor isn't interested in the pig; he's just using him to pressure a greedy horse to come back to work. When the horse's agent balks, the publicity machine starts promoting Arnold as the studio's next big star. A stunned Oliver, who came along for laughs, can't believe what he's witnessing.

1Season 4

S4.E1 ∙ Guess Who's Not Going to the Luau?

Wed, Sep 25, 1968

Peterson's Poi Juice is giving away a trip to Hawaii and Arnold Ziffel is chosen as the winner. When the ad agency rep meets Arnold and discovers he's not a human, he tries to disqualify the swine. Famous "pig lawyer" Oliver Douglas, as he's repeatedly referred to, is retained to fight for Arnold's winnings.

2Season 4

S4.E2 ∙ The Rummage Sale

Wed, Oct 2, 1968

The Douglases are asked to donate old clothing to a charity rummage sale. Lisa is glad to give away Oliver's entire wardrobe, but can't part with any of her dresses. Each has a memory attached, leading to flashbacks of Oliver asking Lisa's father for her hand in marriage, the Douglases' honeymoon in Switzerland and their first party in their new Park Avenue apartment.

3Season 4

S4.E3 ∙ Hail to the Fire Chief

Wed, Oct 16, 1968

Fire Chief Joe Carson appoints Oliver as his assistant, assuming he'll pay for his trip to a Miami convention. Instead, Oliver's complaints about how the Hooterville Fire Department is inept and unprepared result in Carson being booted and himself being named chief. Not wanting the job or the grief he's getting for supposedly stabbing Uncle Joe in the back, Oliver finds a way to get himself canned--fining everyone in the valley for fire code violations.

4Season 4

S4.E4 ∙ Eb's Romance

Wed, Oct 23, 1968

Eb announces his engagement to Loreli Appleby, a girl he met the day before. In an attempt to impress his future father-in-law, Eb succeeds in ruining the farmer's cabbage crop. To get back in the man's good graces, Eb pawns Oliver's cow Eleanor so he can make the Applebys' mortgage payment.

5Season 4

S4.E5 ∙ The Candidate

Wed, Oct 30, 1968

Fed up with the lousy condition of the highway through Hooterville, Oliver launches an attack on their beloved state district representative, Ben Hanks. Oliver runs into a brick wall with the locals because Ben bribes them with expensive gifts; he even has a catalog for them to choose their "gifts" from. The folksy, guitar-playing politician proves too wily for Oliver, even after being caught padding the state payroll with relatives.

6Season 4

S4.E6 ∙ Handy Lessons

Wed, Nov 6, 1968

Wanting to be a bigger help to Oliver, Lisa decides to learn carpentry. She buys overalls and begins to study the craft from the inept Monroe brothers. Lisa's talents result in destruction in Monroes' workshop and earns Oliver a punch in the nose. Lisa nurses his boo boo and ices it until the swelling goes down.

7Season 4

S4.E7 ∙ A Husband for Eleanor

Wed, Nov 13, 1968

Oliver plans to leave Eleanor with Mr. Cowan's bull Dudley so she'll birth a calf and start giving milk again. Lisa complicates matters when she wants to make sure Eleanor has a good "husband" with bright prospects. No bull that Lisa meets seems good enough to marry her "daughter."

8Season 4

S4.E8 ∙ Old Mail Day

Wed, Nov 20, 1968

It's "Old Mail Day" as Sam Drucker hands out letters that have gotten misplaced in his post office. He delivers one letter that dates back to 1917. Having learned nothing from his previous letter-writing fiascoes, an upset Oliver complains to the Postmaster General for delivery service. The locals soon turn on Oliver because Drucker's General Store is never open; his letter got the Hooterville post office reclassified and now Sam's always on his bicycle delivering mail.

9Season 4

S4.E9 ∙ The Agricultural Student

Wed, Nov 27, 1968

The Agricultural Department is sending a student to learn the ropes from agent Hank Kimball. No one's too interested until Terry turns out to be an attractive blonde co-ed. All the men of Hooterville, eligible and otherwise, fall over themselves flirting and fawning. On the night of the big barn dance, the Douglas living room is packed full of maneuvering men, each thinking they're her date for the evening. Terry's choice turns out to be none of the above.

10Season 4

S4.E10 ∙ How Hooterville Was Floundered

Wed, Dec 11, 1968

After Joe Carson quits as head of the Hooterville centennial celebration, Oliver gets the job. His idea is to stage a re-enactment of the town's founding starring himself and Lisa as Horace and Doris Hooter. In the dramatization, saloon girl Doris fleeces Horace out of the money he'd hoped to buy a farm with. Eventually, he gets his money back, thanks to her skills as a card shark, and they marry and settle Hooterville.

11Season 4

S4.E11 ∙ The Blue Feather

Wed, Dec 18, 1968

Lisa's convinced that Hungarian gypsies have placed a curse on her when she receives a dreaded blue feather in the mail. To "de-hexify" her, Haney sells Lisa a ridiculous recipe that she mixes up, places in a green purse, and hangs outside the front door. Eb gets a look at it and panics because the "green purse hex" will bring a drought. He counteracts it with his own concoction in a red purse. Oliver takes action to put a stop to all this foolishness.

12Season 4

S4.E12 ∙ How to Get from Hooterville to Pixley Without Moving

Wed, Dec 25, 1968

After Oliver orders the Monroe brothers to finish work on the bedroom, they confess that they never got a building permit. Oliver storms off to get one himself, only to discover his barn is in Hooterville, but his house is in Pixley. Haney, who sold them the farm, offers to hook a rope to the house and pull it to Hooterville with his truck. Meanwhile, the locals turn on Oliver for having "moved" to Pixley. Fed up, he has the farm re-surveyed and gets even worse news.

13Season 4

S4.E13 ∙ The Birthday Gift

Wed, Jan 1, 1969

Oliver gives Lisa a talking horse named Mr. Fred for her birthday.

14Season 4

S4.E14 ∙ Everywhere a Chick Chick

Wed, Jan 8, 1969

Oliver plans to raise baby chickens, but has to improvise on how to care for them when his brooder breaks down.

15Season 4

S4.E15 ∙ The Marital Vacation

Wed, Jan 15, 1969

It's Lisa's idea for her and Oliver to take separate vacations since they're getting on each other's nerves, but she misses him before she's out of the airport. Oliver's nerves are wrecked by her constant phone calls and the loony locals who think he kicked her out of the house. Fed up, he catches a plane to meet her; his layover in Cuba isn't planned.

16Season 4

S4.E16 ∙ A Prize in Every Package

Wed, Jan 22, 1969

Criminals rob a jewelry store in Chicago and stash their haul in a grain bin. The expensive gems end up packed in boxes of Crickly Wickly cereal shipped to Hooterville. Lisa knows real jewels when she sees them, but Oliver's sure they're just costume. After taking them to be appraised, the sheriff arrests Oliver for the jewelry store heist.

17Season 4

S4.E17 ∙ Law Partners

Wed, Jan 29, 1969

Recent law school graduate Brian Williams pitches Oliver on joining him in a new practice. After another of his patriotic speeches, this time about law, Oliver is ready to hang out his shingle. Lisa is excited about becoming their secretary, against Oliver's better judgment, and Eb is ready to take over running the farm.

18Season 4

S4.E18 ∙ A Day in the Life of Oliver Wendell Holmes

Wed, Feb 5, 1969

The law office of Douglas and Williams is open for business, even though the sign has Oliver Mendell Douglas (later Oliver Wendell Wilkie Holmes) listed as a partner. Unqualified secretary Lisa destroys an office typewriter before having the new phone connected to a fire alarm "clanger." Later, to boost business, she advertises a grand opening special with free prizes and discount law services.

19Season 4

S4.E19 ∙ Economy Flight to Washington

Wed, Feb 12, 1969

The Hooterville Young People's Agricultural Society, comprised of Eb, Hank and Arnold, flies to Washington, D.C. for the national convention. When the stewardess tries to throw the pig off the DC-3, the Douglases come on board to smooth over the problem. While Oliver tries to get the hiding Arnold out of "the occupied," the plane takes off with five Hootervillians aboard.

20Season 4

S4.E20 ∙ Retreat from Washington

Wed, Feb 19, 1969

With the Douglases in Washington, the "Haney Farm Mindin' Service" leases out their house (for $4 a day) to a couple with six children. Meanwhile in D.C., Lisa and Eb go to the White House to have unannounced lunch with the president, Kimball causes chaos for the Secretary of Agriculture, and Arnold causes problems in a laundromat. Oliver calls an early end to their trip, forcing Haney to quickly evict the tenants who were secretly leasing the Douglas farmhouse.

21Season 4

S4.E21 ∙ A Hunting We Won't Go

Wed, Feb 26, 1969

After a friendly doe wanders onto the farm, Lisa starts a drive to ban deer hunting. When the governor arrives in Hooterville for the start of hunting season, Lisa presents him with her petition. He threatens Oliver and Lisa with jail time because her petition promises everyone who signed it a one-hundred dollar payment.

22Season 4

S4.E22 ∙ Oh, Promise Me

Wed, Mar 5, 1969

A check of their their marriage license reveals that Oliver and Lisa aren't husband and wife. They'd been mistakenly given a license to practice dentistry.

23Season 4

S4.E23 ∙ Eb Uses His Ingenuity

Wed, Mar 12, 1969

While all of Hooterville is excited about the upcoming big dance, Eb is obsessed with raising $20. He wants to buy his girlfriend a birthday present and take her to the "swanky" Pixley Diner (which has tablecloths). Oliver refuses to advance him the money, telling him to be ingenious. First, Eb begins leasing out the Douglas' wardrobe and telling folks that the couple's strapped for cash. After Oliver puts a stop to that foolishness, he babysits ten babies at once while their parents go to the dance.

24Season 4

S4.E24 ∙ The Old Trunk

Wed, Mar 19, 1969

Lisa and Eb become entranced by a diary they find in the barn that contains the thrilling, romantic tale of one Lydia Plunkett - a traveling saleswoman for corsets in 1898.

25Season 4

S4.E25 ∙ The Milk Maker

Wed, Mar 26, 1969

Local inventor "Looney Luke" Needlinger has built a contraption that turns hay into milk. Convinced it will make them rich, Haney and Fred pitch Oliver on investing in the machine, but he thinks they're being conned. After seeing the milk maker in action, Oliver convinces a chemist to give the device a once-over. What he discovers insures that cows will always have work.

26Season 4

S4.E26 ∙ The Reincarnation of Eb

Wed, Apr 2, 1969

Oliver, Lisa and Eb talk about reincarnation after watching a movie about a grandfather who returns as a racehorse. Later, when Eb goes missing during a nasty thunderstorm, Lisa is worried sick that something bad has happened to him. She's greatly relieved when he returns home safely--"re-incarcerated" as a dog.

1Season 5

S5.E1 ∙ Lisa's Mudder Comes for a Visit

Sat, Sep 27, 1969

Lisa's mother surprises her and "Whatshisname" (Oliver) with a three week visit. She just became a countess--the title came with an estate she bought--but Eb tells everyone she's the Queen of Sicily. In her royal honor, the locals hold a Ceremonial Day complete with a solid gold wooden key to the city. The highlight is a 21-gun-salute using just one cannon and three balls.

2Season 5

S5.E2 ∙ Everybody Tries to Love a Countess

Sat, Oct 4, 1969

Two weeks of boredom is finally enough for Lisa's mother. To Oliver's relief, the woman who still doesn't know his name is packed and ready to go. His celebration is brief once greedy Mr. Haney and Joe Carson learn she's filthy rich. The pair of money-hungry Romeos descend on the Douglas house to vie for her attention (and fortune) before being tossed out for fighting.

3Season 5

S5.E3 ∙ Where There's a Will

Sat, Oct 11, 1969

The descendant of Herman, a pig that predicted the weather with his tail, stands to inherit the $20,000,000 Birnbacher estate. Fred Ziffel is convinced it's Arnold who has possesses same talent. Everyone in Hooterville pressures Oliver to take Arnold to Chicago and claim his inheritance. Oliver, however, isn't interested in accepting the embarrassing job of professional "pig lawyer."

4Season 5

S5.E4 ∙ A Tale of a Tail

Sat, Oct 18, 1969

"Famous pig lawyer" Oliver Douglas arrives in Chicago with Lisa and Eb to prove Arnold's the rightful heir to a $20,000,000 Birnbach pork fortune. While Arnold is given the royal treatment by the hotel staff, the Douglases are brushed aside as persona non grata and shoved into a room the size of a closet. At the lawyers' meeting to claim the money, Arnold's tail makes the ridiculous prediction of snow in July. The red carpet is suddenly rolled up and they're all given the bum's rush out of the hotel.

5Season 5

S5.E5 ∙ You and Your Big Shrunken Head

Sat, Oct 25, 1969

When the Douglases, Eb, and potentially wealthy Arnold return from Chicago, the pig goes on a gift-giving spree. Mr. Kimball gets a wristwatch, Lisa, an expensive bracelet, and Oliver, a shrunken head. With Arnold the target of every salesman in the valley, he hides out at the Douglas farm. Soon they've tracked him down and it's Oliver who has to fight off the pushy peddlers. Before being pulled off the telephone pole by a salesman, Oliver takes a call from Birnbacher's lawyer informing him the will is being contested by the late eccentric's sister-in-law.

6Season 5

S5.E6 ∙ The Road

Sat, Nov 1, 1969

Oliver's steamed over Hooterville's dirt road, especially after learning the money to pave it was appropriated thirty years earlier. Never content to leave well enough alone, he descends on the state capitol demanding that something be done. The state finally agrees to start the project, but will have to tear down the Ziffel's house in the process. Oliver makes no headway on saving their home until Lisa drops the name of Mr. Haney's cousin, powerful hot dog vendor "Big Joe" Haney. Thinking all problems are solved, Oliver is shocked to hear the locals are planning to tar and feather him; they've been assessed millions of dollars to cover the increased cost of highway building since the project was budgeted three decades earlier.

7Season 5

S5.E7 ∙ Four of Spades

Sat, Nov 8, 1969

Lisa the fortune-teller predicts that a mysterious stranger will soon enter Oliver's life. That stranger is Tadpole Talbot, Eb's childhood buddy who's now a singing sensation. Tadpole hires Eb to go on the road with him and plug his music, but it's not nearly as glamorous he'd imagined. Eb's brief music music career ends in an explosion when he plugs Tadpole's AC guitar into a DC outlet. Lisa sends her "son" money so he can come back home.

8Season 5

S5.E8 ∙ The Youth Center

Sat, Nov 15, 1969

Alarmed by the dropping population of Hooterville, Oliver calls a town meeting to find ways to keep the young people from moving away. Lisa urges him not to become involved because his "goo dooding" always backfires, but he forges ahead anyway. Soon, he's involuntarily volunteered his barn to be the valley's new youth center.

9Season 5

S5.E9 ∙ The Special Delivery Letter

Sat, Nov 22, 1969

Oliver tries to pick up a special delivery letter that arrived for him at the Hooterville post office. He and Lisa end up traveling all over the valley because Postmaster Drucker mistakenly gave it to Hank Kimball, who gave it to Fred Ziffel, who gave it to his son Arnold. Arnold dropped it in the mail, sending the Douglases to the Pixley post office where two sets of identical twins are working at the windows.

10Season 5

S5.E10 ∙ Oliver's Schoolgirl Crush

Sat, Nov 29, 1969

Oliver speaks about a law career at Hooterville High and makes a great impression on one student, Kathy, a teenage girl who develops a crush on every speaker who visits. Lisa's irritated when the smitten girl starts showing up at their house fawning over her "groovy" husband and calling her old. Oliver also has to contend with her jilted boyfriend who's angry that he broke them up.

11Season 5

S5.E11 ∙ Ralph's Nuptials

Sat, Dec 13, 1969

While under the influence of medication, county agent Hank Kimball proposes to lady carpenter, Ralph Monroe. The two go through the wedding ceremony, only to find out that Justice of the Peace Sam Drucker's license has expired and they aren't really married.

12Season 5

S5.E12 ∙ Oliver and the Cornstalk

Sat, Dec 20, 1969

With minimal help from Eb, a stressed Oliver begins planting his corn crop. Lisa tries to be a useful farm wife, serving dreadful lemonade which Oliver pours out dumps out in the field. The next morning at that spot, he finds a giant cornstalk that reaches up into the clouds. At the top of the stalk there's a Jolly Green Giant who bellows "Ho, Ho, Ho" and drops down creamed corn, both in the can and by the bucketful.

13Season 5

S5.E13 ∙ Beauty Is Skin Deep

Sat, Dec 27, 1969

Sam Drucker stocks hardly any "cosmeteticals" in his store, so Lisa offers to put together a display for his business. When 395 cartons of Lady Love cosmetics are delivered, she forces Drucker out onto his front porch and turns the who building into a "beauty saloon." Oliver tells her she must move her business somewhere else, so she sets up shop in their living room, tossing all of their furniture into the front yard.

14Season 5

S5.E14 ∙ The Wish-Book

Sat, Jan 3, 1970

The discovery of a Wish Book from 1898 leads Haney to tell the story of Calvin and Tessie Whittaker, who once owned the Douglases' house. When a magic lantern is mistakenly delivered by the catalog company, Calvin opens a Wall Picture Theater in Pixley, thrilling audiences with a slide of Abraham Lincoln standing on his head. Eventually he goes to Hollywood to pitch his ideas, but aren't interested. They even scoff at his idea to put a mouse named Dickey into films. They love Tessie, however, and she becomes a silent film star.

15Season 5

S5.E15 ∙ Rest and Relaxation

Sat, Jan 10, 1970

Oliver's old friend, reporter Mort Warner, comes to Hooterville to relax and soothe his rattled nerves. He's ready to flee in less than one day. Mort is frightened by Lisa's syrupy coffee, hosed down with oil by Oliver's rickety tractor, and has his bed invaded by a TV-watching pig. Fred Ziffel peers at him naked in the outdoor shower, Mr. Haney gouges him with his phony Auto Club, the sheriff arrests him for stealing the Douglas' car, and quail-hunting Hank Kimball fills his behind with buckshot.

16Season 5

S5.E16 ∙ Trapped

Sat, Jan 17, 1970

Old timbers collapse, trapping Oliver and Lisa in an old root cellar they've discovered under their house. Calling for help through the kitchen sink drain, the two await rescue by Eb, who hits his head and forgets about them. The addled-brained Kimball tries to pull them up through the pipe using a plumber's helper. Their hopes ride on Arnold Ziffel and a game of charades he plays with Sam Drucker.

17Season 5

S5.E17 ∙ Bundle of Joy

Sat, Jan 24, 1970

Oliver travels to New York to wrap up a case for his old law firm. While he's gone, Lisa and Eb take in a puppy left on the doorstep. When Lisa interrupts his meeting to tell him about "Little Freddie," she fails to mention the baby is a dog. Thinking she's found a human child, he tries to talk her into contacting the sheriff. She refuses, so Oliver abandons his case and races back home to Hooterville.

18Season 5

S5.E18 ∙ The Ex-Con

Sat, Jan 31, 1970

Oliver clears the room with a long-winded speech to the Bar Association advocating the hiring of ex-convicts. He regrets his words when he's forced into hiring Willie Dunhill, a man who's spent so many years in prison he can't adjust to life on the outside. When Willie's not reminiscing about his old criminals buddies in stir, he's calling Oliver "warden." Lisa picks up on his prison slang and starts talking like a B-movie gangster.

19Season 5

S5.E19 ∙ The Cow Killer

Sat, Feb 7, 1970

The rickety truck Haney delivers is not the modern one Oliver made a down payment on. He gives the con man until six PM to return his $200 down payment or face jail time for fraud and possible larceny. Oliver also has cow troubles as Colby's bovine keeps coming over and stomping on his already puny crops. He attempts to scare Irene away by firing a shotgun into the air; instead, it frightens advertising men who think they're being shot at. As they speed away, a life-sized fiberglass cow flies off their roof. Lisa and Eb find it and assume Oliver is a cold-blooded "cow shooster." Haney realizes it's a phony and uses it to his financial advantage by selling and reselling it a few times.

20Season 5

S5.E20 ∙ The Confrontation

Sat, Feb 14, 1970

In just his first day as School Board President, Oliver starts a grammar school protest. The kids are upset that their mascot, Arnold, has been thrown out for popping his teacher with a pea shooter. Fred Ziffel asks Oliver to represent his "son" on the grounds that he suffered discrimination, but all Oliver can do is badger the school's determined principal. The pig's ticket back into the education system comes when he wins the student art contest with his painting "Nude at a Filling Station."

21Season 5

S5.E21 ∙ The Case of the Hooterville Refund Fraud

Sat, Feb 28, 1970

Oliver's tax refund check motivates the farmers of Hooterville to request their refunds, too. Not understanding that you have to actually pay taxes first, they write in and state their losses for the last ten years. Thanks to a bad ball bearing in the government computer, the locals receive more than $500,000. By the time the IRS shows up to reclaim its money, the Hootervillians have invested their new wealth in Mr. Haney's monkey racing track. To avoid bad press, the government reluctantly becomes a silent partner in the enterprise where small simians chase after a wooden bouncing banana.

22Season 5

S5.E22 ∙ The Picnic

Sat, Mar 7, 1970

Oliver wants to have a simple, romantic Sunday picnic with Lisa. His afternoon for two turns into an irritating crowd when everyone invites themselves and tags along. Joining the couple are Eb, his girlfriend Linda and her accordion, her parents, Sam Drucker, his date and her sousaphone, Hank Kimball, Linda's Grandpa and some old lady he hit on at the gas station. That night, Oliver and Lisa take refuge in the barn when the crowd shows up at their house to drink their champagne, eat their caviar, and celebrate Grandpa's engagement.

23Season 5

S5.E23 ∙ The Beeping Rock

Sat, Mar 21, 1970

Eleven-year-old Dinky Watson's wild story about his recent trip to the moon enthralls Eb and Lisa. Oliver believes none of it, especially after the kid sells Lisa a "moon rock" for $14. But once the rock stars beeping under the moonlight (and whenever Arnold oinks at it), Oliver suspects he's the subject of a practical joke. Oliver has his doctor X-ray it, but comes up with nothing. Fearing he's cracking up, he ships it off to NASA for their scientists to examine.

24Season 5

S5.E24 ∙ Uncle Fedor

Sat, Mar 28, 1970

Lisa's skittish Uncle Fedor uses the Douglas' home to hide out--mostly under the bed and sofa. He claims he's on the run from the Secret Police who want him for a valuable formula he's smuggling out of Hungary. When a man with a scar shows up in Hooterville asking questions, his wild tale starts to seem believable. Skeptical Oliver contends the whole story is phony and Fedor's just a relative who's come to mooch off of them for a while.

25Season 5

S5.E25 ∙ The Wealthy Landowner

Sat, Apr 4, 1970

Eb advertises himself as a wealthy landowner in a magazine personal ad. As he begins communicating with a young woman with a Park Avenue address, the lies about his worth and adventures become progressively exaggerated. When Celia does the unthinkable and comes for a visit, Eb keeps up the charade. He hires Haney to act as his chauffeur and passes off the Douglases as poor sharecroppers who work for him. Oliver forces him to tell her the truth, but Celia has to leave anyway; her father has sent a limo to bring her back to New York.

26Season 5

S5.E26 ∙ Happy Birthday

Sat, Apr 11, 1970

Oliver is irritated to be sharing his birthday with Arnold Ziffel, partially because the pig is getting so much attention. Even after Haney pitches him on a selection of ridiculous gifts, he refuses to buy Arnold a present. This proves embarrassing when the Ziffel "boy" gives him an electric snout warmer. Even though he requested no celebration, Oliver's convinced that Lisa is throwing a surprise party, so he puts on his tux and goes all around Hooterville looking for it. He gets a surprise, but it's not a party.

1Season 6

S6.E1 ∙ The City Kids

Tue, Sep 15, 1970

Oliver invites four city children to spend a week on the farm. While Oliver teaches them to plant seeds and milk a cow, Lisa falls in love with the little girl of the group, Lori. The two bond while canning jars of Lisa's newest creation, banana jelly. Lisa talks Oliver into letting Lori stay for another month.

2Season 6

S6.E2 ∙ The Coming-Out Party

Tue, Sep 22, 1970

Lori, the little city-girl who missed the train back to the city, is staying on the farm. Lisa's plans to introduce her to the local children by having a party, get out of hand; the festivities grow to include an elephant and Haney giving biplane rides. While Oliver fights to downsize her event, he searches for a replacement part for his ancient Hoyt-Clagwell tractor so he can begin planting.

3Season 6

S6.E3 ∙ Jealousy

Tue, Sep 29, 1970

Eb won't stop badgering "Dad" to buy him a car even though an increasingly irritated Oliver keeps saying no. Noticing how his "parents" are lavishing a fortune on Lori with a new bicycle and rented piano, he feels replaced in the Douglas family and runs away to find a new job. He stops by Drucker's store just long enough to tell Sam how Oliver keeps him locked in leg irons and lost his $4000 on a drunken gambling spree in Las Vegas. Eb quickly returns home to discover Oliver isn't the monster he's been claiming.

4Season 6

S6.E4 ∙ A Royal Love Story

Tue, Oct 6, 1970

Lisa gives yet another conflicting version of how she and Oliver met. She tells Lori that she was sharing a Paris apartment with her father, the deposed King of Hungary. While he was scheming his return to power, Lisa was a waitress at a sidewalk café when Oliver Douglas stopped by for six bottles of champagne. The King wants her to marry a baron who can bankroll his army, but Lisa is in love with the penniless American.

5Season 6

S6.E5 ∙ Oliver Goes Broke

Tue, Oct 20, 1970

After saying goodbye to Lori at the airport, a distraught Lisa seeks a job to fill her days. Gossip Haney spots her in line at the County Welfare Office and assumes she's there for the free soup. Soon, Hooterville's convinced Oliver has squandered all his money and sent his wife out to find a job. Eb pawns Oliver's car for cash and the locals bring food.

6Season 6

S6.E6 ∙ The Great Mayoralty Campaign

Tue, Oct 27, 1970

Oliver and Lisa run against each other in the Hooterville Mayor's race.

7Season 6

S6.E7 ∙ Eb's Double Trouble

Tue, Nov 10, 1970

Ed falls head over heels for Carol, the attractive new new schoolteacher in town. He asks her to the dance, forgetting he already has a date with his girlfriend Darlene. He ignores Oliver's advice, instead listening to Mr. Haney and tells Darlene that he has a wife in Racine, Wisconsin. Darlene's father, angry over this news, takes his displeasure out on Oliver's nose

8Season 6

S6.E8 ∙ Apple-Picking Time

Tue, Nov 17, 1970

Oliver can't find any pickers for his apple crop, and Lisa tries to learn how to drive.

9Season 6

S6.E9 ∙ Enterprising Eb

Tue, Nov 24, 1970

The Douglases give Eb two acres of land so he can build a house for himself and his future bride, but the boy's only saved $538 for the job. He schemes to raise a down payment for a loan by turning the Douglas farm into a trash dump, a trailer camp, and a honeymoon getaway. To irritate Oliver further, he's forced into a dinner with Eb's future in-laws, the Wheelers, who keep accusing him of being an alcoholic.

10Season 6

S6.E10 ∙ Oliver's Double

Tue, Dec 1, 1970

An embezzler who's a dead ringer for Oliver hides out in Pixley with his wife until the heat is off. Eb spots the crook kissing his moll and assumes it's Oliver cheating on "Mom." Haney also spots the look-alike with a blonde and tries to blackmail Oliver into buying a hideous painting by Pablum Picarasso. When the cops show up, the real Oliver's the first one arrested. With both the real and fake Oliver in custody, the authorities ask Lisa to identify who's who.

11Season 6

S6.E11 ∙ The High Cost of Loving

Tue, Dec 8, 1970

Wanting a better paying career, Eb enters the accounting program of a correspondence school. When they mistakenly enroll him in their acting course, Eb believes it's destiny calling. Despite a disastrous attempt at makeup, he studies by dramatizing everyday events; a boring meal becomes dinner with King Louis XIV with Lisa as his serving "wrench"

12Season 6

S6.E12 ∙ The Liberation Movement

Tue, Dec 15, 1970

Lisa discovers the Women's Lib Movement and decides to take over the male chores on the farm, reducing Oliver to the role of house-husband.

13Season 6

S6.E13 ∙ Charlie, Homer, and Natasha

Tue, Dec 22, 1970

Lisa sulks when Oliver refuses to take her to New York for a big party. Meanwhile, Eb has begun hanging out with his new little, chubby, invisible friend Charlie. Not to be left out, Lisa fabricates Natasha, and then Oliver makes up Homer to spite the other two. A few days of this has Oliver thinking Eb needs a doctor. When trying to explain all of this foolishness to the sheriff, Oliver is the one who ends up looking screwy.

14Season 6

S6.E14 ∙ The Engagement Ring

Tue, Dec 29, 1970

Darlene's dad puts a stop to her engagement when Eb presents her with a watch fob. Lisa lets Eb have the $2000 ring Oliver gave her during their engagement, and everybody's happy until Mr. Wheeler has it appraised. Learning that the ring's worth only $8 even makes Oliver mad. Since Wheeler seems more interested in money than love, Lisa has a chat with him in a language he understands.

15Season 6

S6.E15 ∙ The Free Paint Job

Tue, Jan 5, 1971

A paint company offers to put a fresh coat the Douglas' house to take "before and after" photos. As quickly as they apply the paint, the porous wood absorbs it while making a sucking sound. Haney shows Oliver how to close the house's pores using a pore key, but that causes the house to gasp for breath. In the kitchen, Lisa has been practicing cooking spaghetti for three weeks for Oliver's birthday.

16Season 6

S6.E16 ∙ Son of Drobny

Tue, Jan 12, 1971

The duck shipped to Lisa by her uncle is the son of Drobny, the heroic WWII fowl who saved her life when she was in the Hungarian underground. When the locals learn there's a war hero's son in town, they begin plotting an elaborate celebration in hopes of luring in tourists. As usual, they ignore Oliver's attempts to tell them that their guest of honor is just a duck.

17Season 6

S6.E17 ∙ The Wedding Deal

Tue, Jan 19, 1971

Eb and Darlene still don't have a location for their wedding, even though it's just two weeks away. Mr. Haney's first suggestion, to have it for free at a car wash, is shot down by Darlene. His second scheme comes complete with a household of furniture. Eb signs a contract to have their ceremony on TV in a furniture emporium's window. This time, Darlene's father puts a halt to the idea. To keep from being sued by the store, Lisa and Oliver fill in as bride and groom.

18Season 6

S6.E18 ∙ Star Witness

Tue, Jan 26, 1971

Arnold the pig is the key witness to a daring robbery, and just the pig to cook the crook's bacon.

19Season 6

S6.E19 ∙ The Spot Remover

Tue, Feb 2, 1971

Lisa parlays her uncle's cabbage soup into a miracle cleaning fluid and immediately puts all her friends on the 'spot.'

20Season 6

S6.E20 ∙ King Oliver I

Tue, Feb 9, 1971

The governor declares the state bankrupt, shuts down most services, and raises taxes by 52%. Hothead Oliver demands the locals protest and, after hearing Lisa's story of how her father the king responded to a tax increase, secedes from the union. They blow up the bridge across Simpson's Swamp and anoint Mr. Douglas as King Oliver I. Now in a panic, Governor Carstairs puts on his waders and comes to the kingdom of Hooterville for a summit with his royal highness.

21Season 6

S6.E21 ∙ A Girl for Drobny

Tue, Feb 16, 1971

To keep their guest Drobny, a male duck, from becoming lonely - Lisa tries to find a female duck.

22Season 6

S6.E22 ∙ The Carpenter's Ball

Tue, Feb 23, 1971

Ralph wants Hank to ask her to the Carpenter's Ball, but he comes up with feeble excuses to avoid it. With Oliver refusing to attend the foolish event, Lisa schemes to get the two together by asking Hank to be her date to the ball. In no time, Hooterville gossips have declared that the Douglas' marriage is on the rocks and Lisa and Hank are flying off Acapulco. Oliver decides the only way to stop the rumors is to attend with Lisa. For his efforts, he comes in third place in the beauty contest.

23Season 6

S6.E23 ∙ The Hole in the Porch

Tue, Mar 2, 1971

Oliver's really bad day starts when Kimball falls through the dry-rotted front porch and sprains his ankle. After Lisa moves the injured patient into their bedroom to recuperate he blows non-stop on his kazoo whenever he wants something. Ralph Monroe shows up wearing a nurse's uniform from a theater production to care for her "Hankie" and throw herself at him while he can't run away. Self-appointed "attorney" Haney tries to soak Oliver with a $50,000 lawsuit, and local farmers bring their livestock into the bedroom for Kimball's animal clinic. Oliver finally storms out in search of a saloon.

24Season 6

S6.E24 ∙ Lisa the Psychologist

Tue, Mar 9, 1971

Oliver takes a night course in organic farming at the state college while Lisa studies psychology. After just three classes, everyone in Hooterville is running to "Doctor Lisa" to analyze their problems and give advice. Despite all of Oliver's bellyaching about her not being a doctor, she's soon "saved the life" of Hank Kimball, Sam Drucker, Arnold the Pig, and a quacking goat with an identity problem.

25Season 6

S6.E25 ∙ Hawaiian Honeymoon

Tue, Mar 16, 1971

Lisa cons Oliver into taking a fifth honeymoon together, this time in Hawaii. When they check into the honeymoon suite, they are unaware that the hotel manager's groovy daughter has also given her friends the suite. Since the suite has two bedrooms, the two couples simply have to avoid each other. This proves impossible.

26Season 6

S6.E26 ∙ The Ex-Secretary

Tue, Apr 27, 1971

Oliver contacts Carol, his one-time secretary, to find out where she'd had his watch repaired years earlier. In this pilot for a proposed series, Carol now works for a domineering California realtor. She prevents her boss from being conned by a man that Oliver had tried to indict back in New York.