The League of Gentlemen
An interweaving narrative chronicling the antics of such diverse characters as: a transgender taxi driver, a family obsessed with hygiene and toads, a fiery reverend, a carnival owner who kidnaps women into marriage, and a xenophobic couple who run a local shop for local people.
Cast:Mark Gatiss , Steve Pemberton , Reece Shearsmith , Jeremy Dyson , Paul Hays-Marshall , Isabelle Estelle Corbusier , Sian Gibson , Frances Cox , Megan De Wolf , Rosy De Wolf , Helen Lambert , Johnny Leeze , Judith Vause , Lyndsey Marshal , Francesca Knight , Lily Knight , John De Main , Kris Mochrie
S1.E1 ∙ Welcome to Royston Vasey
Innocent young Benjamin Denton arrives in the isolated village of Royston Vasey where pre-operation transsexual cabbie Barbara takes him to the house of his weird aunt and uncle Val and Harvey and their naughty little twin daughters. Benjamin has come to meet his friend Martin but has reckoned without Edward and Tubbs,a paranoid couple who run the local shop for locals only and,fearing that a proposed new road will bring strangers to the village,kill incomer Martin and the policeman investigating his disappearance. Elsewhere Mr. Chinnery,an incompetent vet,puts the wrong dog to sleep and Pauline,the training officer at the Job Centre,makes it clear that dim,hopeless Micky is her favourite client,to the annoyance of efficient Ross. In the pub three local businessmen Brian,Geoff and Mike,are involved in a joke-telling session that turns ugly.
S1.E2 ∙ The Road to Royston Vasey
Benjamin makes unsuccessful efforts to ring Martin but is interrupted by Val. Judee Levinson is off on holiday to Antigua and gives instructions to her cleaner Iris,who keeps on about her husband's sexual appetites. Hilary Briss,the Royston Vasey butcher,is seen as a man who gives 'special' offers to certain clients. Pauline holds a workshop for her restart clients though it is essentially a lesson in selling the Big Issue. When Ross protests she shows him up in a role play that puts Micky in a good light. Mr. Kidd and Mr. Wint arrive at the 'local' shop to serve the compulsory purchase order to allow for the new road but flee in terror after being tied up and tarred and feathered after being made to watch Tubbs do her erotic dance.
S1.E3 ∙ Nightmare in Royston Vasey
Pauline is angry when she discovers that her clients have been stealing her precious pens,with most of the anger,as usual,being directed towards Ross. Benjamin has an unpleasant breakfast-time experience when Harvey lectures him on the merits of drinking one's own water. Chinnery tries to treat a tortoise which refuses to eat but his use of compressed air as a cure has the inevitable disastrous result whilst magistrate Maurice is not impressed by Hilary Briss's latest tempting offer. A workman for the new road goes into the local shop and shows Tubbs an atlas. For the first time she appreciates that there are 'lines' leading to places other than Royston Vasey and screams in terror,bursting the man's eardrums. As excavation for the road begins,Edward plants something to halt it, a strange creature which will be unearthed as 'the Beast of Royston Vasey'.
S1.E4 ∙ The Beast of Royston Vasey
Watched by Edward through binoculars Chinnery examines the remains of the 'Beast of Royston Vasey' and faints at what he finds. However the beast turns out to comprise bits of animals stolen from the Roundabout Zoo, so Edward's plan fails. To the horror of right wing vicar Bernice Woodall, Legz Akimbo, a theatre group whose motto is Put Yourself Inside a Child, arrive to perform a play about gays at the local primary school though the children are unimpressed and certain company members fall out. Having left sweets for the scarecrow in Farmer Tinsel's field - in which the farmer has imprisoned his wife's lover - the twins return home for Benjamin to baby-sit them. Their naughtiness leads Benjamin to accidentally kill the prize toads Harvey was hoping to enter for the Annual Croaker Parade. Stella and Charlie Hull have a meal at Luigi's restaurant, bickering about the man Stella brought back to their hotel on their holiday.
S1.E5 ∙ Love Comes to Royston Vasey
Brian is getting married to Cheryl, whom Geoff, the best man, detests. However Geoff manages to get to the end of his speech with no trouble - but then pulls a gun on the groom. Harvey and Val give the toads an honorable funeral but Benjamin, desperate to leave Royston Vasey, rings Barbara. However she has advertised in the small ads to meet a man and erroneously believes Benjamin to be her date. At Stump Hole, the caves which form the village's tourist attraction - named after a deceased prostitute - Mike, the tour guide is still traumatised by the death of a child visitor some while ago and the resultant arrival of a TV crew. Hilary Briss unlocks his freezer in the middle of the night to give Maurice his 'special delivery'.
S1.E6 ∙ Escape from Royston Vasey
Edward and Tubbs' son David, who has been away at college, comes into the shop and stuns them by revealing that his construction company is behind the new road-building. He is anxious to take his mother to London but when she goes to meet him she finds he looks like Edward and has' decided' to stay in the village. Chinnery goes to Tinsel's farm to help a cow to calf and puts his hand up the animal's backside. Unfortunately,with his customary incompetence, he kills it so that when Barbara arrives at hospital for her operation and finds that Chinnery is the surgeon she is not too pleased. After Pauline has taught her Shop a Scrounger class Ross reveals that he is an undercover investigator from head office and she will be sacked for her incompetence and favoritism. Having paid Harvey for the loss of his toads, plus the other items for which Val has billed him, Benjamin leaves their house and prepares to return home. He calls into the shop for food for the journey and notices that Tubbs is wearing his friend Martin's boots. Will she and Edward do away with him too?
S2.E1 ∙ Destination: Royston Vasey
Now unemployed Pauline has to face the scorn of her successor Cathy Carter- Smith. Meanwhile Papa Lazarou brings his Pandemonium Circus to Royston Vasey. He has a disconcerting habit of hypnotising women and carrying them off, telling them "You're my wife now." A more willing volunteer to join Papa's freak show is Barbara, who ends up fighting with the bearded lady. Unfortunately during Papa's act the entire audience suffers from a nose bleed so he decides to leave town. Hilary Briss has refused to give a special order to Mr. Collier, who threatens to call the police but Inspector Cox - who also has a nose bleed - seems to have got there before him and sees him off. Harvey gets a new toad, which appears to be able to grant him wishes but whilst trying it out he is interrupted by a dishevelled Benjamin, who has escaped from Edward and Tubbs.
S2.E2 ∙ Lust for Royston Vasey
Herr Lipp, a German teacher who seems to have a taste for young boys, brings his students to Royston Vasey and is delighted to be billeted with young Justin. Chinnery's efforts to practice dentistry on an iguana leads to a pond full of fish being electrocuted whilst Benjamin is nursed back to health by his aunt and uncle's music therapy. Pauline and Micky are working in the BurgerMe fast food joint and when Ross comes in Pauline spits on his burger, unaware that she has been caught on CCTV. An artist called Haig, seeking to buy materials from Tubbs, explains that he is hoping to paint the sun and is pushed into a room containing Edward and Tubbs' imprisoned son David. And all the while the local casualty department is inundated with people suffering from the mysterious nose-bleed.
S2.E3 ∙ A Plague on Royston Vasey
Charlie and Stella baby-sit their niece Jade but frighten her with their arguing. Gary and Lynne rent a room from Pop. Edward and Tubbs decide that David should marry in order to keep the shop in the family and set a trap to catch him a wife though they trap a woman who is not local and have to let her go. Hilary Briss is displeased when Maurice wants a special for his wife Eunice as specials are for men only. Pauline and Micky, sacked from BergerMe, confront Ross at the Job Centre. An enraged Pauline ties Ross up and a siege situation develops.
S2.E4 ∙ Death in Royston Vasey
Harvey and Val trick Benjamin into answering the door to the doctor by telling him that it is Nude Day but the doctor tells him it's on the fifteenth and wonders about the lad's sanity. Chinnery's efforts to control a flatulent dog lead to the animal exploding whilst Iris,angry at Judee Levinson's boasting about her life-style,reminds her that her daughter is in a psychiatric ward. Edward and Tubbs steal a Land Rover in order to find David a wife and Pop raises his tenants' rent by ninety pounds but gives them manure to burn to keep warm in the cold flat. Geoff,Mike and Brian are going to a business conference but get thrown out of Barbara's taxi and decide to travel cross-country,getting lost in the woods,where Mike is almost killed. Meanwhile the Red Cross arrive to take charge of the nose-bleed epidemic.
S2.E5 ∙ Anarchy in Royston Vasey
Les McQueen, former pop star with the band Creme Brulee, sees a sign announcing the band's reunion and parts with his savings to lead singer Tony Cluedo in order to finance a come-back but Tony rips him off. Brian, Mike and Geoff finally arrive at their conference very much the worse for wear whilst Pauline is arrested for holding Ross hostage. Herr Lipp's efforts to seduce Justin are thwarted when Mrs Lipp arrives to take him home so he drugs the boy, leaving him under the patio with a tube to breathe through. Edward and Tubbs go to the super-market and finally obtain a bride for their son - Barbara. Hilary Briss believes he knows what is causing the nose-bleed outbreak and suspects that the sandwiches Eunice is selling using the special stuff may be involved.
S2.E6 ∙ Royston Vasey and the Monster from Hell
As Royston Vasey is put under martial law and Legz Akimbo are hired to put on a play as a diversion the police arrest Eunice as the cause of the outbreak though Hilary escapes. Chinnery has yet another death on his hands,this time a falcon, and Iris reveals to Judee Levinson that she is her mother. Benjamin finally escapes from his weird relatives with unexpected help from the twins and finds himself caught up in the chaos. He begins to have flashbacks about his captivity with Edward and Tubbs and points to the shop. The villagers,believing that he is indicating it as the source of the outbreak,march on the shop - where David is marrying Barbara - and burn it down. Meanwhile Hilary Briss is selling his specials on a tropical island.
S2.E7 ∙ The League of Gentlemen Christmas Special
Alone in the chapel of hope on Christmas Eve Reverend Bernice hates Christmas,since her mother was carried off by Papa Lazarou disguised as Santa Claus when she was a child. She has three visitors. The first is Charlie Hull,convinced from his recurring nightmare that his wife Stella is using a voodoo coven called the Solutions to stop him winning the line-dance contest. Then an old man who visited Herr Lipp and his wife in 1975 recounts the saga of Lipp's fascination with cute young choirboy Matthew and his belief that Lipp was a vampire. Finally Chinnery comes to unburden himself as to why he is such a bad vet. In Victorian times his great-great-grandfather,the finest vet in England,came to Royston Vasey but was tricked into touching the wrong monkey's testicle,as a result of which all succeeding vets in the family have been cursed. Bernice feels happier after consoling Chinnery but she is unaware that history is about to repeat itself.
S3.E1 ∙ The Lesbian and the Monkey
Edward and Tubbs survive the fire and decide to leave Roston Vasey following - lines. Unfortunately they are railway lines and they are killed by a train. Barbara, meanwhile, has survived and, pregnant by the deceased David, throws a cross gender fancy dress party, attended by - among others - Pauline and Micky. Pauline has been released from jail and is engaged to Micky but he is unaware that she has done a secret deal for her freedom with Ross in exchange for grassing up Micky's family's dole scrounging. It is all too much for Pauline who rushes off to call the deal off with Ross and gets hit by Legz Akimbo's van. Meanwhile Dr. Carlton invited his patients home for party games with a different and carping old Peter Foot sorely tries his wife and brother's patience in his insistence that they rehearse his funeral.
S3.E2 ∙ The One-Armed Man Is King
Joke shop owner Lance only has one arm but is persuaded by hospital radio DJ Mike that he can get him a throwaway transplant at a cut price. Unfortunately the arm once belonged to a lady and consequently starts to act as a lady's arm should. However it is Lance who, to own cost, saves Pauline from being run over by the Legz Akimbo van as they speed out of town. Elsewhere inept debt collectors Glen and Big Barry get a savage lesson from their boss Lisgoe about how they should do their jobs whilst undertaker Owen Fallowfield holds forth on the merits of his work.
S3.E3 ∙ Turn Again Geoff Tipps
This episode shows how exactly Lance got hit by the Legz Akimbo van. They are in Camden Town preparing a particularly insensitive piece of street theatre about the disabled, entitled Vegetable Soup, in which they impersonate deaf-blind and crippled people. They do not go down well. At the same time Geoff, fired from his job in Royston Vasey, comes to London to be a stand-up comic but is booed off-stage. He is offered the chance to drive a 'hot' car but panics and steals Legz Akimbo's van, speeding back to Royston Vasey and the crash which will involve his needing an operation to change his appearance.
S3.E4 ∙ The Medusa Touch
At the 'Windermere' guest house Sunny and Alvin Steele are preparing for another swingers' sexploitation weekend, though, unlike Sunny, Alvin is not really enthusiastic, and goes off to the garden centre to meet his bit on the side - and in doing so, he has a lucky escape as swinger Daddy introduces his Medusa machine. This creates an exercise in auto-erotic asphyxiation but unfortunately it goes wrong, killing all the swingers. All except TV personality Laurence Llewellyn-Bowen who has slipped out into the garden for a smoke and gets hit by the Legz Akimbo van driven by Geoff.
S3.E5 ∙ Beauty and the Beast (or Come Into My Parlor)
Professor Breastpinch'd arrives and conducts a street poll, asking people if they want their breasts pinched but, unsurprisingly, gets no takers. Knight Rider obsessive Neds shows his creation Maxie Power, Royston Vasey's answer to Kitt, to his friend Tris. It can fire paper clips and speak. The boys take Maxie Power onto the streets to fight crime but sadly all three become croppers after a run-in with the bad guys. Stella and Charlie separate and he gets masseur work at Judee's beauty salon Spit and Polish. He becomes a hit after giving hand-jobs to blindfolded male clients unaware of his sex, though when he declares his love for one of them, Tony, he gets the sack. Whilst Stella wins big on the fruit-machine and jets off to the sun, a distraught Charlie wanders into the road - and is almost hit by the Legz Akimbo van but saved by a camp stranger.
S3.E6 ∙ How the Elephant Got Its Trunk
Whilst magician Dean Tavoularis takes his magic show on the streets and Keith Harris's dog cinema faces competition Reenie has a new helper in the charity shop - Keith Drop,to replace Vinnie Wythenshaw,who died retrieving the plastic bag that caused the crash. When Brian goes into the shop for the missing piece for his jigsaw he notices that Keith has something that belonged to his missing wife - for Keith is none other than Papa Lazarou disguised under pink make-up. He avoids Brian and Reenie's attempts to take him prisoner and they end up,like others who have mysteriously disappeared as animals in his circus. But life must go on in Royston Vasey,as typified by the birth of Barbara's twins - another Edward and Tubbs in the making?
S4.E1 ∙ Return to Royston Vasey
Some familiar faces return to the town of Royston Vasey, with old scores to settle and some old friends to dig up - with more bad blood than an abattoir with septicaemia.
S4.E2 ∙ Save Royston Vasey
Boundary changes threaten to wipe the town from the map forever. The fight to save Royston Vasey from administrative annihilation comes from unexpected and surprising directions - all of them local.
S4.E3 ∙ Royston Vasey Mon Amour
The local authorities, local newspaper and local police all play their part as the developing situation in Royston Vasey reaches its earth-shattering climax. What dark forces have been unleashed in the amphibarium?
