The Phil Silvers Show
Master Sergeant Bilko, regularly helped by the soldiers at Fort Baxter's motor pool, spends little time performing his duties by constantly trying to obtain money through various get-rich-quick scams and promotions.
Cast:Phil Silvers , Harvey Lembeck , Paul Ford , Allan Melvin , Billy Sands , Maurice Gosfield , Herbie Faye , Bernard Fein , Jack Healy , Mickey Freeman , Maurice Brenner , Karl Lukas , Terry Carter , Jimmy Little , P. Jay Sidney , Joe E. Ross , Walter Cartier , Hope Sansberry
S3.E1 ∙ Bilko's Merry Widow
When he learns that the ladies of Roseville are willing to pay a $500 bonus to anyone who can stage a professional musical in the town Bilko decides tries to try and get hold of the rights to a Broadway hit.
S3.E2 ∙ Bilko's Boys Town
Bilko is keen to go on desert maneuvers knowing he'll be near Las Vegas. Col. Hall orders him to stay at Fort Baxter. Bilko turns Fort Baxter into a Summer Camp for boys. With the fees set at $125 a kid he hopes to rake in the money.
S3.E3 ∙ Hillbilly Whiz
After getting beat 24-0 by the WAC Baseball Team Bilko's latest addition to the troop is Private Hank Lumpkin - a man who killed a mountain lion with a Baseball.
S3.E4 ∙ Bilko's Valentine
Bilko forgets to send Joan a Valentine's gift. Her army stint is up and Joan decides not to re-enlist and she heads home to her mother. Bilko is heartbroken and using all his cunning and guile he sets out to win back Joan's affections.
S3.E5 ∙ The Big Man Hunt
Bilko's old army pal Red Thompson, whose life Bilko saved during the war, launches a search for Ernie. Red wants to thank Ernie for saving his life by offering him a share in his diamond mine.
S3.E6 ∙ Bilko's Double Life
Most of Roseville is after him for money so Bilko heads to New York. He's mistaken for millionaire Herbert Penfield III. Meanwhile, Herbert Penfield III arrives in Roseville and everyone assumes he's Bilko. he's chased by Bilko's creditors.
S3.E7 ∙ Sgt. Bilko Presents
A new recruit writes a play, which gives Bilko ideas on how to make a huge profit on Broadway.
S3.E8 ∙ Bilko Talks in His Sleep
Bilko starts talking in his sleep & unknowingly gives away the secrets of his scams to Grover and Ritzik. Bilko realizes what he's been doing and decides to turn the tables on them by letting them believe he's not in the best of health.
S3.E9 ∙ Cherokee Ernie
Bilko is inducted into the Cherokee Indian tribe & discovers a document that indicates that Oklahoma belongs to the Indians. Using his skills and his new-found Indian heritage he sets out once again to make his fortune.
S3.E10 ∙ Bilko Buys a Club
Bilko tries to set up a nightclub in Roseville and needs $750 to seal the deal. He learns that one of the national guard contingent assigned to Fort Baxter is involved in a multi-million dollar deal he has work out which recruit it is.
S3.E11 ∙ Lieutenant Bilko
Bilko's stint in the army is up and he decides to strike out in the big business world. When he learns that a temporary WWII commission was never rescinded he decides it's time to collect his back pay.
S3.E12 ∙ Bilko at Bay
When Bilko, Henshaw and Rocco visit Mrs.Doberman's house they cross paths with some of Mrs.Doberman's house-guests - a party of fishermen who just happen to be a gang of bank robbers in hiding.
S3.E13 ∙ Bilko F.O.B. Detroit
Bilko is sent to Detroit to collect some trucks.He persuades the president of the factory to buy his latest scam -a Basic Training Kit designed to allow GI's to train at home thus saving the government millions of dollars.
S3.E14 ∙ Bilko and the Flying Saucers
Trying to keep a date with a beautiful nightclub singer in Washington DC, Sergeant Bilko tries to convince his commanding officer that creatures from outer spaces have been spotted inside the base and that a motor pool sergeant should report the sighting to the Pentagon so the army brass doesn't think the Colonel is a crackpot.
S3.E15 ∙ Bilko and the Colonel's Secretary
The Col.'s secretary is reassigned & Bilko picks her replacement. When she arrives at Fort Baxter she is unhappy at being taken away from her true love. When she finds out it was Bilko who arranged the transfer she takes her revenge.
S3.E16 ∙ Doberman the Crooner
Bilko hears a recording made by a mystery singer & sets out to find out who the voice belongs to. Doberman is the mystery singer & Bilko sets up an audition at a record company. Is Duane about to become the nation's next big thing?
S3.E17 ∙ Bilko Presents Kay Kendall
Movie star Kay Kendall visits Roseville whilst promoting her film & Bilko gets her to appear in a show he's producing. Bilko's hoping to make a bundle of dough but Miss Kendall soon proves to be more than a match for the wily Sgt.
S3.E18 ∙ Bilko's Cousin
When Bilko's cousin proves to be as much a rube as Bilko is a shark, Sgt. Bilko runs a scam to make the cousin an officer so the cousin cannot be taken advantage of by the enlisted men.
S3.E19 ∙ Bilko's Pigeons
Bilko has been using Fort Baxter's carrier pigeons as racing birds. The Pentagon orders that the birds are no longer to be used to send messages & Bilko tries to make money by selling the birds. Has his fortune finally come home to roost?
S3.E20 ∙ The Colonel's Reunion
Col. Hall orders a ban on gambling at Fort Baxter. Bilko arranges that the Col. attends. When Bilko learns that the Col.'s comrades see him as an object of ridicule he steps in to make them see the Col. in a different light.
S3.E21 ∙ Cyrano De Bilko
Bilko writes a letter on behalf of Pvt.Harold Westrum to a young lady in Roseville. However Bilko soon finds himself in trouble when he proposes marriage to a woman he doesn't love.
S3.E22 ∙ Bilko Saves Ritzik's Marriage
After an all-night poker session Ritzik misses his 15th Wedding Anniversary and his marriage to Emma is in trouble when she leaves him. Feeling guilty Bilko decides to do everything in his power to reunite the warring couple.
S3.E23 ∙ Bilko the Art Lover
Bilko is in dire need of a break but true to form has no funds. He contacts Carlyle Thompson III thinking he now has his millions but instead finds him as penniless as himself.
S3.E24 ∙ Bilko the Genius
Bilko is mistakenly declared a genius and is transfered to a special camp of high IQ intellectuals to work on secret projects. It's not long before he introduces them to the science of gambling.
S3.E25 ∙ Bilko the Male Model
Bilko is spotted by a New York advertising agency after his 'common, friendly face' catapults him into the society papers. The agency want him to front their ad campaign for a new smoking jacket.
S3.E26 ∙ The Colonel's Inheritance
Colonel Hall inherits $5000 & needs to keep it out of Bilko's clutches. He sends the money to the bank. Bilko sends Rocco and Henshaw, dressed as MP's, to pick up the money and is soon flashing the Colonel's cash around town.
S3.E27 ∙ Bilko's Honeymoon
Paparelli wins a two-week honeymoon in Miami. Bilko convinces him to pose as a woman so they can cash-in on the all-expenses paid vacation. However the 'happy couple' are in for a surprise when John and Nell Hall turn up at the same hotel.
S3.E28 ∙ Bilko's Chinese Restaurant
Bilko unveils plans to open his own Chinese restaurant. Noticing the huge quantities of Chinese ingredients being ordered by Sgt.Ritzik the Pentagon decide to send Bilko and his platoon to the island of Macoochi.
S3.E29 ∙ Operation Love
The WAC's of Fort Baxter are unhappy about the time their men are gambling with Bilko. The girls fight back by transferring away from Fort Baxter.Within weeks there are no WAC's on the post. Ernie must find a way to save the day.
S3.E30 ∙ Bilko's TV Pilot
Cowboy Montana Morgan makes friends with Doberman. Duane sends the picture of to CBS & the network ask for a meeting. They want Doberman for a new TV series. Bilko shoots a Western TV pilot with Duane Doberman as his leading man.
S3.E31 ∙ Bilko Retires from Gambling
Col. Hall hires a card shark who takes Bilko to the cleaners. Bilko turns into a shadow of his former self & morale at Fort Baxter hits an all-time low. When Bilko learns the truth about the card shark he sets out for revenge.
S3.E32 ∙ Bilko's Vacation
The doctor orders Col. Hall to take a vacation. He also recommends that the Col. give Bilko and his platoon a furlough. Bilko makes a deal with Dimmeldorf's Lodge and suckers both the platoon and Col. & Mrs.Hall into vacationing there too.
S3.E33 ∙ Bilko's Insurance Company
Bilko sets up his own insurance company at Fort Baxter. But his 'maternity benefits' policy which includes a multiple births clause goes disastrously wrong.
S3.E34 ∙ Bilko's Prize Poodle
Doberman's pen pal is getting married & Duane is heartbroken. Bilko treats him to a night on the town to but Duane spends the money on a poodle instead. When the dog's pedigree papers arrive & Bilko enters her into the annual dog show.
S3.E35 ∙ Bilko's School Days
When fifteen hundred new recruits, training as MPs, transfer to Ft. Baxter, Bilko figures if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. He trains to become an MP in an attempt to beat the system.
S3.E36 ∙ Joan's Big Romance
Joan Hogan leaves Fort Baxter on furlough. Upset at the 'brush-off' she gets from Ernie she decides to teach him a lesson. A picture of her and playboy socialite Randy Vandermeer appears in the national papers & Bilko is distraught.
S3.E37 ∙ Papa Bilko
A little girl, befriended by Bilko while he was stationed in France during World War II, pays a visit to Ft. Baxter - only she's not little, anymore.
