Unhappily Ever After

A not-so-happy family is divided further when the father gets a schizophrenic disorder.

Genre: Comedy

Cast:Geoff Pierson , Kevin Connolly , Nikki Cox , Justin Berfield , Bobcat Goldthwait , Stephanie Hodge , Joyce Van Patten , Ant , Dana Daurey , Wendy Benson-Landes , Frank Lloyd , Allan Trautman , Benjamin Shelfer , Kristanna Loken , Deborah Kellner , Faith Salie , Oliver Muirhead , Jessica Hahn

1Season 1

S1.E1 ∙ Pilot

Wed, Jan 11, 1995

Meet the Malloys. Cynical Jack and devil-may-care Jenny are separating, drop-dead-gorgeous daughter Tiffany is self-absorbed to the core, and older brother Ryan is just plain dumb. Little Ross's toy bunny, Mr. Floppy, ends up being Jack's talking, worldly-wise companion in his new shack.

2Season 1

S1.E2 ∙ Gift of the Magnovox

Wed, Jan 18, 1995

Big dinner invite for Jack to Jenny's. It's their Anniversary, but Jack has forgotten, all he can think about is getting a VCR for the lonely hours in his bachelor flat, and scoring some toilet paper.

3Season 1

S1.E3 ∙ Jack's First Date

Wed, Jan 25, 1995

Jack scores an unlikely date, with vivacious Miss Taylor, Ryan's teacher. Anxiety gnaws at Jennie as she feels she is losing control over him.

4Season 1

S1.E4 ∙ The Bigger They Are, the Harder They Fall

Wed, Feb 1, 1995

Jennie needs funds for breast enlargement. All hell breaks loose when she tries to sell her engagement ring, only to discover the diamond is a dud. To make up, Jack has to sell his baseball signed by Babe Ruth, but turns out this gift from Jennie had been a fake as well.

5Season 1

S1.E5 ∙ Jack the Ripper

Wed, Feb 8, 1995

Jack runs over his mother-in-law with his brand-new moped, and faces having to crawl before her unless he wants to get sued and go to jail. The one thing that still makes him a man, that he vowed he would never do.

6Season 1

S1.E6 ∙ Run

Wed, Feb 15, 1995

Flight of the rabbits. Send out on an errand to buy tampons, Jack grabs Mr. Floppy and dashes off to Mexico, to never have to go buy tampons ever again.

7Season 1

S1.E7 ∙ The Descent of Man

Wed, Feb 22, 1995

Jack fires Ryan up to rebel against Jennie making him do the unmanly chores, and causes Ryan to get kicked out, knocking at his door for shelter. Not what he had in mind. And pretty soon, Jennie comes to dump Ross off as well. Where is the place of man in the natural order of the world?

8Season 1

S1.E8 ∙ Boxing Mr. Floppy

Wed, Mar 1, 1995

Mr. Floppy loses his lucky rabbit's foot as a charm to Ryan, who narrowly misses out on scoring a hot blond date with it, but after Tiffany scores a diamond engagement ring, and Jennie's objective to enter the Betty Ford clinic to score a rich husband might become reality, Jack has great difficulty securing it back for his furry little friend.

9Season 1

S1.E9 ∙ Don Juan De Van Nuys

Wed, Mar 15, 1995

Jennie cannot find a date, so she sets out to seduce Mark, the painter boy and local neighborhood stud, but finds herself going to the dogs.

10Season 1

S1.E10 ∙ Mistress Jennie

Wed, Mar 22, 1995

Jennie finds out her new boyfriend is married and must find a way to get rid of him.

11Season 1

S1.E11 ∙ Daddy's Little Girl

Wed, May 3, 1995

Tiffany wants to traipse off to the lake with an amorous boy, but like Mr. Floppy warns, boys are after only one thing; meanwhile, Ryan has a date with a dominatrix, but who cares?

12Season 1

S1.E12 ∙ The Great Depression

Wed, May 10, 1995

Jennie, who never had a Prom date, chaperons the school dance, where Tiffany is in charge of organization, but she has invested the money in blue-chip war stock, only now, peace has broken out worldwide. Jennie has to rush in to help, it's her last chance to go to the dance, after all.

13Season 1

S1.E13 ∙ Hoop Dreams

Wed, May 17, 1995

Much to Tiffany's dismay, Jennie is going to give a motivational speech at school, but Jack doesn't want to miss out on playing basketball with the guys. Ryan believes himself to be a business 'mongol' after a win at monopoly, and Mr. Floppy feels taken for granted. Cringing shame for everybody at the school hall.

1Season 2

S2.E1 ∙ Jack Moves Back

Wed, Sep 6, 1995

Feeling lonely, and for the sake of the wayward Malloy kids, Jennie tries to heal the family by letting Jack move back - into the basement. Mr. Floppy thinks they're going to Paris.

2Season 2

S2.E2 ∙ Zit Could Happen to You

Wed, Sep 13, 1995

Ryan gets his own back on Tiffany by setting the bathroom scales ten pounds heavy, causing her to go into a tailspin at a time when she is embattled by having her first pimple, minuscule but devastating to her fragile ego. Tiffany flounders in her quest to make up for her 'lost looks' by developing a personality. Jack questions where his loyalty should lay.

3Season 2

S2.E3 ∙ The Rat

Wed, Sep 20, 1995

Jack wants sex, Jenny wants to talk, and talk, and talk some more, so Jack retreats back to the basement, where he admits his love to a dismayed Mr. Floppy just as a psychopathic rat is on the loose. The neighbor's cat gets drafted into service, only to come to a grisly end. Tiffany gets a bright idea to get rid of the rodent, but Jack's dislike of Barbara Streisand could have lethal consequences.

4Season 2

S2.E4 ∙ Rocky VI

Wed, Sep 27, 1995

Jack has to square up and go a round with a big, burly neighbor, because Jennie and the wife next door have been in a quarrel about stolen avocados and a garden sprinkler.

5Season 2

S2.E5 ∙ Rock Star

Wed, Oct 4, 1995

Jennie gets the opportunity to date the rock hero of her teenage dreams. But how to slip it past Jack? How about if they play a game where both of them get to choose a celebrity they could be with, partner's blessing included?

6Season 2

S2.E6 ∙ Driving Me Crazy

Wed, Oct 11, 1995

The kids take to the road. Learner driver Tiffany is a demon behind the wheel of the family car. Nightmare ride for Jack. Ryan regresses to a childhood memory of running over the family cat.

7Season 2

S2.E7 ∙ A Touch of Glass

Wed, Oct 25, 1995

Sheila enters the household. Sheila had been Jennie's dream. Sheila is a glass table. No gravy will be served at dinner - Sheila must be kept spotless. Revolt is in the air. And when it comes to bringing down Sheila, shattering Jennie's dream, guess which boy is gonna be the patsy?

8Season 2

S2.E8 ∙ A Line in the Sand

Wed, Nov 8, 1995

Tiffany's nemesis, blond bully girl Patty McGurk, wants to beat her up Friday at three. Ryan has an unusual defense force. Jennie wants to go to Hawaii, Jack wants to go to Vegas, and stay-at-home Mr. Floppy finds more than ample solace in fantasizing about being cuddled by dream-girls.

9Season 2

S2.E9 ∙ Making the Grade

Wed, Nov 15, 1995

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10Season 2

S2.E10 ∙ Honey, I Screwed Up the Kids for Life

Wed, Nov 22, 1995

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11Season 2

S2.E11 ∙ The Whiz Kid

Wed, Nov 29, 1995

P is for - Priddy High? Ryan finally finds something he is a whiz at - Helping the football team pass their urine tests. Tiffany is out in the cold, ousted as the favorite child.

12Season 2

S2.E12 ∙ Hot Wheels

Wed, Dec 20, 1995

Ryan and Tiffany's joy rides come to an end when Jack pretends to steal the family car, but his plan backfires when the car is actually stolen.

13Season 2

S2.E13 ∙ Picnic of Pain and Peril

Wed, Jan 10, 1996

Inspired by a French movie, Jennie wants the ideal family picnic. Much to the dismay of everyone else. Weaving 'flowers' into Tiffany's hair turns disastrous, Ross gets bitten by a rabid gopher, and Jack falls down a precipice. All just to prove a point: Watching foreign movies is bad for your health.

14Season 2

S2.E14 ∙ Meter Maid

Wed, Jan 31, 1996

A disgruntled meter maid gets Jack to face the music for Jennie's parking violation. In jail. With a cannibal as a cellmate.

15Season 2

S2.E15 ∙ In the Stars

Wed, Feb 7, 1996

Virgo Ryan scores at long last. With a Capricorn. In a Taurus. No, that's not a lot of bull.

16Season 2

S2.E16 ∙ Mr. No

Wed, Feb 14, 1996

Tiffany finally meets her match when a boy pretends to ignore her. She thinks she's in love.

17Season 2

S2.E17 ∙ The Agony of Victory

Wed, Feb 21, 1996

More mid-life crisis for Jack. He doesn't want Ryan to beat him at basketball for the very first time. Because then he's an old man. Plus, Mr. Floppy spells out what is wrong with America.

18Season 2

S2.E18 ∙ All About Jennie

Wed, Feb 28, 1996

Jennie lives vicariously through Tiffany being in the school play, 'Romeo and Juliet.' Childhood dream of Jennie, to be Juliet. And a scheme hatched to realize this. The bard is gonna turn over in his grave.

19Season 2

S2.E19 ∙ Jack Writes Good

Wed, May 1, 1996

Mr. Floppy writes a dark and twisted tale, his autobiography. Down in the cellar, Jennie picks it up, and reckons Jack to be the new writing sensation. Tiffany believes they are all going to be rid of their middle class stigma. Happy days, happy family. Then Jack reads the sordid tale. He insists on a happy ending. But then the whole cake falls flat.

20Season 2

S2.E20 ∙ Girls Who Wear Glasses

Wed, May 8, 1996

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the smartest of them all? Tiffany tests her mettle among the geniuses and discovers she might be just average, but then gives some real-life advice to a group of frumpy Gifted Girls. And Jack and Mr. Floppy revels in the show's original theme tune.

21Season 2

S2.E21 ∙ Leaving Van Nuys

Wed, May 15, 1996

School's out, Jack works the night-shift, and Ryan gets fired from his first day on the job. Home for summer. The kids drive Jennie crazy, and she turns to liquid support. In her drunken state, Mr. Floppy reveals Jack's alter ego to her, in more ways than one.

22Season 2

S2.E22 ∙ Getting More Than Some

Wed, May 22, 1996

Ryan brings home Crystal, a fetching blonde several years his senior. And already with two children. He thinks she's marriage material. Everybody else thinks he's nuts. They want her out. And Mr. Floppy has a thing about shoes. Ladies' shoes. Tiffany's patent leather. But then he gets squashed.

1Season 3

S3.E1 ∙ Tiffany's Rival

Sun, Sep 8, 1996

Smart, blond, tall and long-legged, not to mention equally devious, Sable hits the scene, and Tiffany is worried about having competition that is going to keep her on her toes. Dark secrets are exchanged in a game of detente. Only to get spilled. Twinkle Twinkle Little Star gets a whole new meaning.

2Season 3

S3.E2 ∙ Beach Party

Sun, Sep 15, 1996

Senior Ditch Day, and they're off to the beach. Tiffany has to hold her own against blond rival Sable as they compete for the attentions of a boy.

3Season 3

S3.E3 ∙ Angel Gone Bad

Sun, Sep 22, 1996

Jack is dismayed to find out that darling daughter Tiffany might have opted for the oldest profession. But she's just been selling pictures of herself with nerd boys, posing as The Girl Back Home.

4Season 3

S3.E4 ∙ The Temptation of Jack

Sun, Sep 29, 1996

Om a mission for Tiffany, Jack puts on his party pants as he tries chasing after Sable's Mom.

5Season 3

S3.E5 ∙ Lightning Boy

Sun, Oct 6, 1996

Ryan is delusional after getting struck by lightning, and expects to have superhero powers. Behold, alter ego Lightning Boy prances about the kitchen in underwear that is outerwear. Jenny wants the experience to boost Ryan's confidence in himself. Everybody humors Ryan as he sets himself up for a confrontation with an earth-bound meteor.

6Season 3

S3.E6 ∙ Bingo! Bingo! Bingo!

Sun, Oct 13, 1996

Inexplicably, out of character, Tiffany gets bitten by the bingo bug. Hooked as she is, she is now Mom's girl, and Jack falls out of favor as the parent of choice. How to win her back? And how will Mr. Floppy make unattainable Hollywood vixen Drew Barrymore jealous?

7Season 3

S3.E7 ∙ Halloween XXVII

Wed, Oct 30, 1996

The Mad Hair Hacker goes after Tiffany, Sable, and Tiffany's friend Amber, to chop off their long hair. Meanwhile, Jack and Jennie look forward to terrorizing the neighborhood kids and giving them candy cigarettes on Halloween.

8Season 3

S3.E8 ∙ Rock and Roll

Sun, Nov 3, 1996

Loser boy Ryan has a band. Thanks to hot sis Tiffany. Sleazy-looking record producer took one look at the haphazardly shot promo video, saw inadvertent walk-on redhead sister with the long, long legs, and signed on the loser band. See Ryan perform. Just try not to hear him squawk, er, sing. Then see Glorious Tiffany do the Gloria Estefan to the Miami - no, Malloy - Sound Machine.

9Season 3

S3.E9 ∙ The Pride of the Injuns

Sun, Nov 10, 1996

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10Season 3

S3.E10 ∙ Eating Hollywood

Sun, Nov 17, 1996

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11Season 3

S3.E11 ∙ High and Dry

Sun, Nov 24, 1996

Breaking out into sprays of sweat every time he's near a girl, Ryan resorts to copious overuse of deodorant. By the cans full. Caking his underarms. After Tiffany lost out on an unwise bet, she had to find him a date. Turns out she's a refugee set on American citizenship. At all costs. Told by the desperate woman that she prefers manly smells, he delves about and sheds excess bricks of powdery mess there in the car. Which leaves evidence that gets misinterpreted as cocaine abuse by all-of-a-sudden concerned parents Jack and Jennie who watched an Are Your Kids On Drugs alert on TV.

12Season 3

S3.E12 ∙ The Tell-Tale Lipstick

Sun, Dec 15, 1996

Tiffany decides to be bad.

13Season 3

S3.E13 ∙ Sternberg

Sun, Jan 19, 1997

Tiffany dates Herbie Sternberg and Ryan has a rash.

14Season 3

S3.E14 ∙ The President

Sun, Feb 2, 1997

Bored with her successful life, looking for new challenges, ever-successful Tiffany manipulates eternal loser Ryan into running for school president, figuring that he'll be her puppet on a string. But instantly the marionette breaks loose. Now she must reel him in.

15Season 3

S3.E15 ∙ Tiffany on the Wild Side

Sun, Feb 9, 1997

Like mother, like daughter. Tiffany dates a biker. Bikers now remind Jennie of her bad boy Beau Bobby Joe Satan, who once gave her the thrill ride of her life, but then dumped her with a promise of a phone call that never came. She tries to warn newly-minted leather lady Tiffany against giving her heart - not to mention anything more - to the devil-may-care Johnny Stompanado. For tomorrow's phone call never comes.

16Season 3

S3.E16 ∙ The Potato Rebellion

Sun, Feb 16, 1997

School cafeteria dragon lady, chain-smoking Bulgarian Mrs. Garbaggio, feeds the kids a steady diet of mashed potatoes chronically infested by the most unsavory junk. Beauty Tiffany tries to reason with the beast, to no avail. And her appeal to the School Board bring less than stellar results. Her attempt to overthrow the draconian hag fails miserably - the old witch packs a gun, and the kids had none. Insomniac Jack's sleepless lament gets re-tuned into a potent protest song, We Will Eat No More Po-Ta-Toes, sparking a county-wide uprising which leaves the city in flames. All because of a song. As suspected folk singers flee, Jack happily sleeps through the carnage-filled network TV news report.

17Season 3

S3.E17 ∙ B-Minus Blues

Sun, Feb 23, 1997

In English class, star pupil Tiffany scores a B. Actually, a B minus. And that's really just a tarted up C. For a girl who aims to go to Harvard. All because of disgruntled old teacher Monteleone, fed up with being underpaid, who rewards mediocrity with an A, while originality and creative input earn naught but scorn. Parroting Ryan gets an easy A for regurgitating total tripe, so that's the last straw - Tiffany has to stand up in class to the sour-faced less-than-intellectual bully. And Jack plans to make a movie with young talent, so flyers went up all over town, and a big party is expected, the clatter of high heels - that is, until the clump of heavy jackboots arrive.

18Season 3

S3.E18 ∙ From Russia with Love

Sun, Apr 20, 1997

Ryan gets a Russian mail order bride

19Season 3

S3.E19 ∙ Little Ice Cream Shop of Horrors

Sun, Apr 27, 1997

Tiffany gets a job

20Season 3

S3.E20 ∙ Shampoo

Sun, May 4, 1997

Ryan at long last finds his calling in life. Accidentally. As a cutter of women's hair. No, not as a barber. As a stylist. But when he requests $200 from his Dad to go off to beauty school, Jack nearly has a heart attack wanting to die of shame, believing his son to be gay, oops!, the other way. Before you can say "Warren Beaty" though, Mr. Ryan becomes a huge hit with the ladies, some of whom even spill over Ross' way. Cutting the hair of a female Hollywood power monger lands Mr. Ryan in pole position to produce her next movie. But wise and thoughtful parents Jack and Jennie want him to go back to school, as finishing his education is more important.

21Season 3

S3.E21 ∙ College!

Sun, May 11, 1997

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22Season 3

S3.E22 ∙ The Joy of Meat

Sun, May 18, 1997

Animal activist little Ross foists being a vegetarian upon the meat-guzzling family. It's either that, or they all lose out on the $10 000 that goes along with the award. Salads await. And Linda McCartney's lasagna. Tiffany rebels, and even Jack's favorite child gets pushed out as the lure of money talks. In the absence of his regular daily diet, Jack gets rhapsodical as he enthuses about the virtues of meat. And then Jasper barks at something he found in the cupboard. A traitor to his own cause gets revealed.

1Season 4

S4.E1 ∙ Hot Off the Presses

Sun, Sep 7, 1997

Tiffany is at college. Northridge Junior College. Far from Harvard, her ideal. All thanks to saboteur Mr. Monteleone, the B-minus-giving spoilsport. College life here is dull, and the only way up is to be a reporter for the college newspaper, which is in the doldrums as well. And even here, evil old Monteleone thwarts her. He pigeonholes her as a scandal columnist. So, there is only thing to do. If it's scandal he craves, it's scandal he'll get. His own. SheepGate. Yes, Mr. Monteleone loves sheep. Yes, of course it's a fabrication. But when the poor old sap starts denying, his world comes crashing down.

2Season 4

S4.E2 ∙ Experimenting in College

Sun, Sep 14, 1997

Ryan enrolled in Women"s Studies to be in Boobieville. His assignment there is to find out what women want. The avid male interest in dumb TV show Baywatch inspires Tiffany to do a study on whether men want a smart woman or a stupid woman. To this end, she will pose as twins, going after the same guy. Meanwhile, Ryan gets in touch with his feminine side. Right down to experiencing menstrual cramps. It's bad enough for Ross to live in a house where the nutty psychotic Dad talks to a stuffed bunny, but now both Tiffany and Ryan are two separate people.

3Season 4

S4.E3 ∙ The Ghost and Mr. Malloy

Sun, Sep 21, 1997

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4Season 4

S4.E4 ∙ Exorcising Jennie

Sun, Sep 28, 1997

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5Season 4

S4.E5 ∙ We Got Next

Sun, Oct 5, 1997

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6Season 4

S4.E6 ∙ Sorority Girl

Sun, Oct 12, 1997

Jack gets a new job; Tiffany attempts to join a sorority, which involves wearing diapers and being Ryan's slave.

7Season 4

S4.E7 ∙ Ryan Vampire Slayer

Sun, Oct 26, 1997

To every generation, a Slayer is born. Or appointed. Ryan has his eye on a long-legged blonde cheerleader, but he can't score a date with her, she's busy every night. Busy slaying vampires. No, her name's not Buffy, it's Bunny. Trying to come to the rescue when his romance object is in danger, Ryan botches up as per usual, leaving the poor girl with a broken leg. So now he has to stand in as Vampire Slayer. Earth is doomed.

8Season 4

S4.E8 ∙ Cyber-Tiffany

Sun, Nov 2, 1997

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9Season 4

S4.E9 ∙ Tiffany, the Home Wrecker

Sun, Nov 9, 1997

Tiffany, for just being Tiffany, gets blamed for breaking up a relationship. Her college rep is under fire. And opportunist Ryan picks up on the spoils.

10Season 4

S4.E10 ∙ Little Miss Perfect

Sun, Nov 16, 1997

Ryan meets a fast talking spinner named Bitsy and she becomes his girlfriend until her sexual secret is revealed.

11Season 4

S4.E11 ∙ The One Kevin's Directing

Sun, Nov 23, 1997

Ryan has his eye on a fellow-student at Northridge, but she's only interested in Jack, but really with an ulterior motive.

12Season 4

S4.E12 ∙ Teacher of the Year

Sun, Dec 14, 1997

Tiffany adores her favorite teacher, Mr. Peabody. He's not like the cock-of-the-walk Mr. Monteleone at all. Quite the opposite. Too much so. Shy and withdrawn. To spite Mr. Monteleone, she plans to award Mr. Peabody as Teacher of the Year. And he'd be the guest of honor at their table for dinner. But it turns out Mr. Peabody has a dark secret. And as the spotlight falls on the demure old man, Tiffany's article in the school newspaper alerts the authorities, and the police arrive to arrest the serial killer. But he escapes. With the invitation standing. Guess who's coming to dinner...?

13Season 4

S4.E13 ∙ Ryan's Labour Lost

Sun, Jan 11, 1998

Working off his debt for incurring damages, baseball-wielding Ryan becomes night janitor at Northridge, and while slaving away, discovers the identity of the mysterious Phantom of the Library. Everyone's not-so-favorite teacher. Guess who?

14Season 4

S4.E14 ∙ Undercover Cheerleader

Sun, Jan 18, 1998

Nasty old Mr. Monteleone sends Tiffany on a mission to infiltrate the cheerleading squad.

15Season 4

S4.E15 ∙ The Chaste Makes Waste

Sun, Feb 1, 1998

Tiffany has fallen in love. And she believes him to be The One. So, she's ready to give up her virginity.

16Season 4

S4.E16 ∙ Teacher's Pet

Sun, Feb 8, 1998

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17Season 4

S4.E17 ∙ Let's Get Ready to Rum Ball

Sun, Feb 15, 1998

Virgin Tiffany wakes up on 'the morning after' bound and gagged, she has no recollection about what might have happened after accidentally having eaten a single rum ball, because with her low body-weight, she was technically drunk, and now goes on a quest to know what might be the awful truth.

18Season 4

S4.E18 ∙ Triple Play

Sun, Feb 22, 1998

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19Season 4

S4.E19 ∙ Tiffany's Birthday

Sun, Apr 26, 1998

Tiffany wakes up to the day that is her twentieth birthday. Gone are her days of being a teen. But wait until she gets her present from Jack, the very best gift you could give a girl on the day she laments not being a teenager anymore.

20Season 4

S4.E20 ∙ The Old West

Sun, May 3, 1998

Planting hydrangea bushes, Tiffany dug up an old box in the garden, and an old journal causes the gang to reminisce about having alternate lives during the days of the Old Wild West. Jack's a barkeep, Ryan's the Sheriff, Jennie's a madam and Ross is handicapped, but with Tiffany dancing the can-can, what else matters?

21Season 4

S4.E21 ∙ The Clip Show

Sun, May 10, 1998

An installment with frankly honest advertising. It's title reveals that it is a mishmash of previous episodes. Ross has the whole family - except Jennie, of course - housebound watching the movie he made with French luminary Roman Polanski (!) and everybody's thinking about happier, or somewhat happier, times. For Ryan, it's Lightning Boy, for Tiffany, thinking about what to wear, and for Jack, times with Jennie, when he still had her around.

1Season 5

S5.E1 ∙ X-Happily Ever After

Sun, Sep 13, 1998

Poking fun at Ally McBeal's dancing baby. And likening Calista Flockhart to E.T. Riding the wave of the X-Files, Tiffany and Ryan become paranormal investigators. No, aliens didn't abduct Jennie. She ran off with her lesbian lover. Never to be seen again.

2Season 5

S5.E2 ∙ Feline Alright

Sun, Sep 20, 1998

How far would Tiffany go to get an easy A? Brains won't help, for new teacher Mr. Studebaker demands his household chores done in exchange for the one precious A he'd award this year. Hell, no, we won't go. Watch out, though, for rival Barbara is ready to jump as he dictates. So... But if sucking up to teacher means taking care of his constipated kitty, that's the last straw.

3Season 5

S5.E3 ∙ Basketball... Again?

Sun, Sep 27, 1998

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4Season 5

S5.E4 ∙ A Movie Show

Sun, Oct 4, 1998

Tiffany has yet another boyfriend. A sensitive type, with finer tastes, who wants to tag along to go see, wait for it, The Bridges Of Madison County. No, he's not gay, just the answer to Tiffany's dreams. But a fat lot of good he turns out to be in the theater where louts are heckling the movie and tossing popcorn at the audience. Ryan, surprisingly, turns out to be a hero when he stands up to be a man - but, of course, gets knocked down. Up to our heroine to solve the matter her way.

5Season 5

S5.E5 ∙ Love Letters

Sun, Oct 11, 1998

What is the appeal of European men? Tiffany loses her heart to a French exchange student, and Ryan hits it big with the ladies when he assumes a German disguise, even though he gets mistaken as the Planters' Peanuts logo. But Tiffany's heartthrob soon turns out to be a ten, twenty-timing rat copying her love letter to him, stealing her words to send them out to every hot chick at Northridge. Including Barbara. Who falls in love with those words. And now sees Tiffany in a different light.

6Season 5

S5.E6 ∙ I Know What You Did in the Closet

Sun, Oct 25, 1998

Back in 1988, mischievous little Ryan played a trick on his little sister Tiffany, and trapped her inside the closet. And announced that she was now at the mercy of the Closet Monster. Thus scarring her for life, forever afraid of that looming dark closet. Now, ten years later, it's payback time. Tiffany will have her revenge.

7Season 5

S5.E7 ∙ Ross' IQ

Sun, Nov 1, 1998

Much to his chagrin, Ross' IQ is revealed to be just average. Having already said "So long, suckers!" to everybody else back at school, he takes this news very hard. It's up to Ryan and Jack to explain to him that being mediocre had its distinct advantages. Less trips to the psychiatrists. And Mr. Floppy becomes a televangelist. Now the duped faithful has a place to send their hard-earned dollars.

8Season 5

S5.E8 ∙ The Fencing Show

Sun, Nov 8, 1998

Tiffany's always had an exemplary scholastic record, but not so when it came to sport. But she finds an obscure sport at which she is sure to excel. In the absence of any other competitors, that is. The ancient art of fencing. Alas, turns out Barbara's secret pastime sets her up to be Tiffany's nemesis.

9Season 5

S5.E9 ∙ Smart and Stupid

Sun, Nov 15, 1998

Jack misses the love of his life, gone for three months already. No, not Jenny. Of course not. With the bill for cable TV unpaid, that's gone out of the door as well. So, now it's up to Tiffany and Ryan to appear on an inane TV quiz show with a thousand dollar cash prize to bring back cable. No, better still, satellite dish.

10Season 5

S5.E10 ∙ The Silver Rule

Sun, Nov 22, 1998

Star reporter Tiffany on the trail of a scoop. Theres an ex-Nazi living somewhere in Van Nuys. And his grandson might be attending Northridge. And on a selfless do-gooding kick, despite being warned against it, Tiffany tries to help out uber-nerd Elliott at the school paper. But ends up getting sued for sexual harassment.

11Season 5

S5.E11 ∙ Secrets

Sun, Dec 13, 1998

Ryan tells one about a night of love with Penny at Tiffany.

12Season 5

S5.E12 ∙ Royal Flush

Sun, Jan 10, 1999

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13Season 5

S5.E13 ∙ Taffy's Boy

Sun, Jan 17, 1999

Ryan's big love. Well, literally. All in the name of money. Yes, Ryan becomes the one pursued. By a, well, big, er, rather large chick. Who happens to be loaded. Lots and lots loaded. And so, instead of a career selling rotting oranges to passing motorists, Ryan lines himself up for easy street. Gigolo time. Big time.

14Season 5

S5.E14 ∙ Tiffany's Big Break

Sun, Jan 24, 1999

If she'd be the spokesperson for a bank, Tiffany has the chance to do a lucrative TV commercial. But it's the same bank that turned down Jack's loan when she was a kid, and she then had to lose out on any Christmas present. No forgetting, no forgiving, Malloy rule. Of course, blonde hussy Barbara is waiting in the wings, eager to grab the opportunity for herself. And Ryan found an abandoned dog he believes to be Toby The Wonder Dog from the movie Old Feller, and is trying to find it a home. Bared fangs face Ross. And Jack, who had really meant that loan for investing in twenty-five percent of a little company called Microsoft, plans his just revenge. Every dog gets his day.

15Season 5